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1 True Talks
1 True Talks
Navigating Love and Emotional Security
Have you ever felt lost in the quest for emotional security within your relationships? Join us as Renee Richel, the esteemed founder and president of One True Match, shares her wealth of knowledge on finding and nurturing love amid the chaos of the world's current uncertainties. Renee passionately discusses the importance of establishing a secure emotional foundation, essential for steering through the exciting, yet often tumultuous journey of dating and marriage. Get ready to learn how to set boundaries, enhance communication, and courageously open up to vulnerability with your significant other.
This conversation isn't just about matchmaking; it's an exploration of the divine gifts we're born with and how to uncover them in pursuit of true love. Renee provides a roadmap to a quality, emotionally stable relationship by offering her unique insights and practical advice for singles and couples alike. Whether you're taking the first tentative steps into the dating world or seeking to deepen your marital connection, Renee's guidance is designed to lead you towards a more fulfilling love life, with your emotional well-being taking center stage. Embrace the transformative wisdom from one of the industry's top matchmakers and begin charting your course to lasting love.
Hi, I'm Renee Richel, the founder and president of One True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world. Hello, loves, welcome back.
Renee:I am on fire about this next topic we're going to talk about, and I only mean that because I feel like it is truly the pivotal breakthrough that people struggle with on a daily basis, and not just in relationships, also in love, and so in work and just this world. And today we're going to talk about emotional security in a world that is so insecure it feels like right now, with everything going on and just people also going through relationships and heartbreaks, and you know obviously also then the excitement of when you meet that person. So I'm going to begin with talking about emotional security and really where it begins from. After a conference that I was at just talking about this subject, let's dive in to the topic of emotional security. When we are at a very young age, from basically utero on to when we take our first steps and our first talking moments, right To then lead to where we then start to dream about true love and what marriage will look like and who this partner and this family world together will be, we start to date completely clueless on really what it is our future will hold and what we're looking for. And then sometimes we obviously get married too young, too quick, not knowing who we're marrying. And then, after marriage, we go through the anxiety and the stress and the arguments of realizing we're two totally different people and that we should have never gotten married. And there's so many times, unfortunately, that it leads to divorce, which in its own is stressful and just so, so frustrating, and you can't believe you're in that situation. So then where do you go? Right, you're left to only going online dating, unless, of course, you know about a matchmaker, and then from that that turns into frustrating dates, stressful ghosting, and they call it love bombing and all these other things that are happening in the world of dating today. And so where do you go? And we always say people will Google true love, and it's exciting, when we come up as a matchmaking company, to be able to start to transform the way of their emotional insecurities that they have gone through, that they don't even know that they have to then start getting into the right, healthy relationship that they've desired their whole life, but now emotionally secure and sound in that relationship. So what we're going to talk about today is really not only the true love that you feel inside of you, but also the gift I always say that you're born with, that God wants you to discover. And so what is emotional security?
Renee:It's about feeling confident navigating the world, including your own relationships, and so one of the biggest tips that I really love giving not only my singles, but also through our courses and things that we teach on the emotional side of things, is to set boundaries. So many of us are doing so many things, we are being pulled in every direction, and when you're single, let's be honest, you put a lot on your plate, or maybe you don't put anything on your plate and you're wondering why things aren't happening right. So it's really important you set boundaries between friendships, between work, between family and, as well, when you're in a relationship with somebody. So let's say you're even in the very infinite stages of dating someone and you're starting to realize that there is some emotional insecurities and you're not really sure what to do right. And so I say it's so important to also be a good communicator. And how do you know to communicate with somebody when you've never maybe been completely in a relationship where you feel secure, where you can also learn to be vulnerable and share what's on your thoughts and minds? And the best way of not only starting to communicate better, your vulnerable spots right and also dive into things that you've maybe never thought of, is to have a partner and be open-minded yourself, as well as making sure that you're choosing a partner that has an open mind. We all bring up topics or talk about things that are maybe not the most enjoyable things to talk about, or we say something out loud that I always say is more like freestyling conversation that really wasn't thought through how the other partner would receive that information, and so it's critical, I feel like in all relationships whether you're single, dating, engaged or married that you practice, because practice makes perfection on all levels of having emotional intelligence and emotional security of how you communicate.
Renee:And people ask me all day long where do I begin, renee? Where do I start that right? How does that even happen? And meeting with tons and different researchers, as well as psychologists that are specialized in the area of, not only emotional security but, I would say, overcoming the fears that come from utero, right From childhood, that we don't even realize. We discovered, whether it be through, you know, diving in with a psychologist, a mental health specialist, like a hypnosis and somebody that does meditation. But think about moments in your life.
Renee:I remember discovering why I was continuously attracting the, I guess I would say, addictive type personality was because I put my timeline to discover, through deeper knowledge of who I was at five years old, where something happened, where I went to the moment of basically feeling in a loving, nurturing home and life, to then realize I didn't need anybody and that's a massive decision to make at six, but ultimately I still wanted and desired that love that I had all of those years prior. And so you start to attract people that will then just love you, right? And when you don't know a lot of these questions to ask and you don't know how to set boundaries and you don't know how to communicate, vulnerable, you then start getting in these relationships that obviously are breaking you down over time and you lack that emotional security and you have no idea that it's even happening. I always tell everybody it's like an onion peeling the layers of people's lives and going back to like the timeline from what happened to you, from literally the minute you were born, which a lot of us don't know, but it's great when you dive deeper.
Renee:I always say with the experts that can really help you to pull out your own subconscious that knows everything you're feeling and you're thinking and truly a lot of us, on a daily basis we spend time in our conscience, mind and ignore our subconscious, and our subconscious mind is what has all the nuggets and the secrets to truly our thoughts. So, spending time in our past, which can be scary and a lot of people what they do is they like to just ignore the past, they like to brush it under the rug and never actually deal with the things that are giving them that emotional security or insecurity. And so the best plan I always say that anybody can ever do, not only for themselves but everybody around them in relationships going forward, is to accept that you may not truly know who you are deep rooted and without the forever thirst of learning about yourself, there's never going to be growth. So this is a moment where I'll always share. It's so important, the meditation of prayer.
Renee:It's important to obviously find the love in God and, through him, in yourself, to be able to overcome whatever maybe happened to you when you were a child that literally has led you into the way you think, the way you act, the way you talk, the social circles you hang around, the expectations you feel that you are pressured to have because of whatever lifestyle or things that you don't even know were percolating in your mind. The littlest things like road trips you take, family vacations, going to and from school, all these things your mind is a sponge that you were just retaining and picking up along the way, along with emotions that come behind that. And so many people don't want to talk about the emotional box, right, because it's uncomfortable. Personally, I don't want to talk about my feelings either, but it's so important that I have a place where I can share, because without understanding my feelings, a place where I can share, because without understanding my feelings, then we don't know the reactions that we then take because of those feelings. So constantly, what we teach our clients is to have that, not only the boundary, but the acceptance and understanding, so that they can be better off in sharing as well as caring, stopping, reflecting and then expressing what they actually mean by that, and it's definitely an art that has to be learned. It's definitely a practice that has to be discovered and continuously done to be in an enriching relationship.
Renee:So, whatever those emotional insecurities you've had from past, relationships can truly be where you are not fearful of anything, of anyone that you're surrounding your life around. And there are so many individuals out there that, because of their own insecurities and their inabilities to overcome the things that have happened to them, to look at it through a fresh pair of lenses, to also say the past is the past. I have learned from this, I will not be in that situation again. And there was something God wanted me to take away from this, whether it be like myself now, learning that all of the steps God wanted me to go through is maybe painful, as they have been over the years, and also as joyful as they also are. To be able to share that with other people, to be able to relate to them, to be on this mission of finding people, the most loving and caring relationships because we see the heart of who somebody is outside of what people see as the exterior only lens.
Renee:And so, to be emotionally secure, all of those past fears you have when it comes to maybe somebody did you wrong or somebody cheated on you or somebody lied or somebody treated you awful you have two choices. You can either choose to continue to never trust and always have this emotional security that's just eating you alive and tearing you apart on a daily basis, that you may not even know you're doing anymore because you've just been living this life. Or you have a choice to say I'm going to figure out where those triggers are, I'm going to figure out the timeline of when those things happen, I'm going to ask the Lord for forgiveness. Or I'm going to ask the Lord for forgiveness, or I'm going to forgive the other person for whatever it is they did and come across in a new way of acceptance that you are forgiven, that other person is forgiven, so that you can be emotionally secure in the next relationship you have going forward.
Renee:And then, once you're actually in a relationship with somebody and you're starting to date and you're starting to get engagement and then marriage, remember you are in a relationship with somebody else that probably has emotional insecurities from whatever that past is, and so helping them be the guide. I always say my kings and my queens that we've taught. To have that title now as an expert, not only in their own walk, but also to teach others, is huge, because at the end of the day, if we don't have that emotional security, we're all walking around angry at people, right, we're just upset, we're not living a fulfilled, rich life that we should, because of whatever those things are. So I hope you have found this helpful and beneficial in so many ways to better not only your life but the people that surround you. And if this is something that you really struggle with, or maybe your partner is, we are always available to set up a call and talk through and navigate a roadmap of how we can pinpoint each little detail, whether it be through our coaching, whether it be recommending you out to some of our other experts that really specialize in certain areas, whether it be I always say, from even like maybe you're financially stressed, maybe your sex know, your sex life obviously in a relationship is not healthy.
Renee:Maybe it be like you're just struggling with. Is this the right partner, is this the right relationship? Maybe you're struggling with something you don't understand, why you react more in a fighting way than I always say, like gentle, calming matter, when it comes to arguments or conversations or discussions. Or maybe you're just really struggling with finding the beauty in yourself, because the world, especially the Instagram world and TikTok and all this that we live in that are constantly tearing us down if we're not keeping up with the Joneses and you want to live a different way.
Renee:We would love to talk to you, we would love to give you that encouragement to be your cheerleader, as we are, for all of our clients that discover truly who they are, not only by who God's designed them to be, but also in the loving relationship that they are now in. So we're going to love and leave you and I hope that you have a blessed day and I can't wait for our next chat next Thursday. We are so excited about some guests that we've actually met at the conference we were just at that we are going to start bringing on to interview and talk to and talk through their life stories and their clients' experiences as well. So have a blessed day. We'll talk to you soon. It's been another great talk on this episode of one true talks by renee rochelle. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, god bless xoxo.