1 True Talks
1 True Talks
Building Strong Christian Relationships: The Transformative Power of Community in Dating
How can being part of a church community transform your dating life? In this episode, we promise to uncover the pivotal role that community and mentorship play in Christian dating. By engaging with your church, you can deepen your faith, build shared values, and maintain accountability. We'll also highlight how friendships within this nurturing environment can be a source of encouragement and support. Plus, you'll learn how observing couples within your community can provide invaluable lessons about the dynamics of healthy relationships, keeping you spiritually nourished and grounded as you seek a meaningful partnership.
Join us as we delve into the essential support system needed for strong Christian dating relationships. We'll discuss the advantages of having mentors, coaches, and prayer warriors by your side to help you navigate personal emotions and challenges. Discover the importance of preparatory work, including self-improvement and reading marriage-minded books, to set a strong foundation even before you start dating. With a focus on long-term success, we'll emphasize how current actions and proactive steps can significantly impact your future relationship. Tune in for practical advice and uplifting encouragement to guide your journey towards a loving, fulfilling partnership.
Hi, I'm Renee Richel, the founder and president of One True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world. Hello, loves, welcome back.
Renee:As promised, we are going to talk about what it's like to have the role of community in the Christian dating space. So this is for all of my singles out there, which, of course, is the majority of who we're talking to on a daily basis. But it is so exciting all the couples we have, which I also love hearing their journey and stories. But it is so exciting all the couples we have, which I also love hearing their journey and stories, that they started their journey off with us being single. So this is for my community of everybody out there, christian and dating, to remember these things. So if you're driving, please listen to this again, when you can take notes, if you are, you know, just in general, like have a friend that could use this advice. Please forward this and pass this along, because I think that this topic is really important and I'm so glad to hear that this has surfaced and something that I'm going to talk about today. So, talking about the importance of church and community support when it comes to your dating journey and how friends and mentors can provide value and guidance, is key. So already you're alone because you're dating alone and you're trying to be in a world where you feel you should be in a relationship, you should be with couples, and so today, what we're going to dive into is, while you're in that journey of finding the love of your life, that you practice these things to keep you whole, to keep you grounded, to keep you just excited about finding the love of your life. So I'm going to begin All right.
Renee:So, number one, it is important to definitely have a church community and if you're not already involved in a church or you're looking for a church, wherever you are, our company is global Give us a call, text us. We will find a church that will welcome you with loving arms, they will greet you by their name and make sure that you feel that you're a priority to them right out of the gate. Because I know I know I was there A lot of our clients have gone through it where you feel completely alone and already walking into church, being alone, and you just never know what you're going to walk into. And you never know sometimes at these big, mega churches or maybe churches that are more private or small, because you want that intimate relationship but you don't know anybody and maybe two people are too busy, and so it does matter when you walk into a church how you feel. So if you don't have a church, call us, text us, let us know. We'll find you a church that's the right fit for you, just like we find people all over their life. But we want to make sure you're in an environment that is just empowering you with so much love that you deserve so that you continuously go back, so that you continuously build the relationships we're going to talk about today in this interim to finding the love of your life. So why it's important to have a church community is because it provides a supporting environment where they're encouraging you to obviously enrich your faith, to study the word of the Lord, to go to Bible classes, to be a part of a life group and somebody that is obviously also going to have shared values. They're going to help keep you responsible for boundaries that you also need to set so that you're continuously building your morals, your values, your beliefs that make you whole and happy during this journey that sometimes feels lonely, and it also is a great spiritual growth community that also holds you accountable, so you don't lead too far off the course in general when it comes to just life and all the things that the world throws at you.
Renee:And number two by being a part of a community in a church environment or a Christian leadership group or there's plenty of conferences out there even to build your network of other like-minded individuals is you're going to gain friends in the Christian dating space. Right too. So I mean churches often come to us and say how do we help our Christian singles without groups becoming meetup groups? Because no church wants to get in the business of what we actually do, which is helping people to talk about dating and not focusing on the Lord, especially in a church-like environment. And this is where I always tell everybody, when you're at church, the mission, even if you have a life group, that's for, maybe focused for the singles, or even if it's a life group and there's other couples there, so many times people will say then I just feel like I'm the odd duck out because I'm the only one there that's single.
Renee:If that's your attitude and that's what you think, your mindset is completely off, because by surrounding yourself around other couples that are enriching their relationship, it's actually fueling you in a way that you are learning the things that they do to want to be able to mirror someday in a relationship. You're hearing about, maybe, concerns that they bring up, that you are now actually studying relationships from an outside perspective, that when you actually get into a relationship, you're going to be that much stronger. So, surrounding yourself, obviously, around other people that are going through the same scenarios you are are going to hold you accountable. They're going to help you maintain your purity and your integrity, which is all part of waiting for the right person to come into your life, to choose somebody that's going to have that same Christ-centered personality focus to make sure we just talked about in our last podcast. To have a healthy marriage and relationship, you have to have that rooted foundation in Christ. They're going to be there to encourage you. They're going to be there to emotionally support you and those friendships that you're going to build, that then, even the ones that might get coupled before you or meet that person, you want to be their biggest cheerleader continuously, because the day will come that the Lord will bring you the right person because of all of this work that you're putting into it. To stay positive, to stay focused on him, to also put yourself in an environment of people that are enriching you so that someday they're going to be celebrating your relationship.
Renee:Because you weren't hiding in a corner or feeling bad for yourself because there was no place for you and you felt like that's why I don't continuously go to church, or maybe I haven't gotten involved in a group because nobody cares, or I just don't fit in Well for you to say that that's probably half the battle. Right, there is, if you tell yourself something negative, you're going to believe something negative. If you tell yourself you can't do something, you're not going to do something. So surround yourself around an environment, walk yourself into something that maybe feel uncomfortable. I can't tell you how many times I'm an extrovert. I'm an extrovert, introvert at times, right, like we all have those moments, but I can't tell you how many times I've walked into something and I'm like I really don't feel comfortable doing this or I don't want to do this, or even just going up to a random stranger is what we do as matchmakers all day long. And, trust me, there's moments I'm like, oh, please, don't make this person have the worst day of their life. And I'm like, hi, excuse me, it could be awkward, right, but at the end of it usually always turns out to something positive, because I tell myself what's the worst that's going to happen. I already have no answer. This way I'll get an answer and maybe give somebody a huge compliment or change somebody else's life that at the end that feels good, right.
Renee:So remember to build a community of Christian friends, not only in a church if you're not involved in one, but even outside, when you're not in the church. I think part of building a Christian network around you is sometimes even having the littlest conversations with your neighbors or giving somebody a compliment. You know at a local, I don't know market, or at a store or wherever you're at, or I mean just even just the basic things that you walk around and do and giving somebody a small compliment really changes the life. I mean not the life, the day of somebody's life, and it really engages conversation with a complete stranger. And then you know, when you have the right moment, if it's God's right moment, you bring up where your faith's at and be proud of that and it could develop into the most beautiful friendship. I can't tell you how many friends I have today, just because of that exact outcome, that are now the biggest cheerleaders. They're like family in my life today that through the journey of dating, through the journey of being single, through the journey of being completely alone, feeling like it's never going to happen, I'm never going to meet that person right, and even having the company that I have and witnessing people fall in love in all different times, in all different ways, it truly roots back to two people that love the Lord more than anything and that have surrounded themselves around the right people that are great avenues for them to be guides in their life.
Renee:And number three would be what I'm talking about is find, like mentors, where you're building like this network of mentorships around your circle, that you then just become a mentor yourself. So you know, we have to obviously be a student before we can be a teacher, but when it comes to love and relationships. When you have figured out where you're at today and where you want to head in the future, you think about how then you can be the expert to share with somebody else and then that other expert in you then are ready truly for a loving relationship. So number three would be, like I talked about, is surrounding yourself around mentors Like seek mentors that will guide you, that will encourage you, that are mature Christians that you can ask any question. I mean there's so many questions that we don't even know Even pastors will admit they don't know things about the Lord. Like it should be a conversation that never ends with a thirst to know more. So surround yourself around people that you know have studied the word or that are taking time to want to share wisdom with you and biblical advice and practices and tips that have worked for them and their stories.
Renee:Like ask people what's their, what's your testimony. They're in a you know and I obviously a daily basis. It feels like you know part of our interviewing question. When we're interviewing singles and we're talking to them, we're like, without saying, tell us your whole life story right Right out of the gate. It's like we want to hear, like your journey that's led you to where you are today and your faith walk and your testimony of what's taken you to this deeper love and relationship with Jesus and why you feel so much love inside of you. Because there's a lot of people out there that just have not had that experience and I think a big part of it is because they haven't had that thirst to want more and they haven't focused on actually getting there in their relationship to have that so that everything in life around them is that much easier because they literally focus their entire love on their faith.
Renee:First, and for all of my singles out there, when they are exhausted from the dating or they are just tired from what feels like it's a never-ending process, I always tell everybody take a time out. Tell somebody when they ask like so who are you dating now? What's the latest? These couples or married people or your family or friends want to get off in your business, to live vicariously through you, right, because they're like this is so fascinating, so interesting. Tell them that you're dating Jesus right now and it literally will stop the conversation right there. And it is the best approach that, if you've never done that before, to do first and foremost and focus on that, because then God will bring you somebody that is also at the equal level that you are, that's truly ready to date. And, of course, if you're single and you're Christian and you've never filled out a profile before or you're looking to now do the next relationship right, or even the first relationship from the beginning right, in general we're a great support, you know, obviously, platform for you. So contact One True Match.
Renee:Talk to our mentors, to our coaches, to our prayer warriors, to us as matchmakers. I love answering questions, I love working with our clients. I love going through all the hurdles and the challenges they have and hearing it from their hearts, their emotions, their feelings, what's real to them, and almost decoding what all of that means so that they can start to create the roadmap to the future of who this person is, from their needs to their wants, to their spiritual life, to finding somebody equally yoked and the things that matter to them, not only today but in the future. To have somebody you can talk that through with, instead of just an empty profile and swiping left or swiping right to try to find somebody that's going to match, something that has never been even explained right. And so it's important to have a community. That's also, you know, just giving you more insight to your own mind when it comes to relationship coaches, or you know, relationship advice in general, because it's like any sport you need a trainer to get you to the Olympics right. Everybody.
Renee:When it comes to relationships, none of us were taught relationships. We all need a coach to get us to understand, help us to understand ourselves best, and then how to do a relationship with somebody, putting them into the life and what that looks like. Before you get messed up the first, second or third date because they truly weren't ready and it could have been the love of their life, but they needed to learn something because they waited until it was almost too late for them to learn what they needed to learn. So, if you've never done preparatory work which you start to do when you're actually in a relationship, which is premarital work do it on yourself first, so that you can be ready for a relationship. And I know I've screamed this out and said this in so many other podcasts, so I'm just going to repeat it, because there's nothing better than you reciting this back to me and saying I know, I know, renee, I've heard this a million times is that if you want to forever stay single, read single books. If you want to forever be successful in a relationship, read marriage-minded books. So you're one part of the equation already ready to start teaching and preaching to your mate while you're dating so that you guys are set up for success. They start reading the same things you do, so you're speaking to each other's same context of how you want to have conversations.
Renee:And remember, surround yourself around prayer support. So in our company we have a team of prayer warriors and I love it. And remember, surround yourself around prayer support. So in our company we have a team of prayer warriors, and I love it. Every week they are learning what's happening with our clients. They're learning about matches, even internally, when we have things we need to pray about that are just happening in our personal lives. So if you don't have a prayer warrior group or your prayer warrior support, there's so many different avenues you can take. Get involved in our prayer warrior group. I mean there's a lot of singles on there Just saying. It's another opportunity to meet somebody that might be a great match through the avenue that God has blessed us with social media and just different private groups where we can just be around our peers and be supportive and encouraging while we're going through the phase and the stage of obviously meeting the love of our life.
Renee:And it begins with you Long-term preparation, remember it is key to how to keep a relationship strong over time. So what I basically just said is think about not today, but think about what you can do today that's going to prepare you for the future, to be able to set yourself up for the long-term relationship you're looking for. I think today too many people that are single are so focused about the now, the feel good, the present, and they don't really think about what they're doing currently in the present is actually really going to affect them in the future. So if you think about either past relationships you've been in that are carrying on to your life still today, that you've not been able to heal from, you've not been able to let go, you've not been able to like fast forward to seeing yourself happy again, you're only hurting yourself when it comes to not only dating yourself to be completely whole, to put yourself out there, to be in the relationship you desire, but you're also hurting yourself because you're getting into relationships with somebody else that's not truly ready if they're continuously dating somebody that's not truly healed. So if you can't be your best version of yourself and you don't look at yourself in the mirror and say I am happy, I am proud of who I am, I'm going after the things I want to achieve, then of course, you're not going to attract the type of person that you truly believe, you feel and you deserve.
Renee:So think about today as a new opportunity to set your ways in different ways, based on all the advice that we're continuously giving you. I hope you continuously follow us, because we're constantly giving dating advice to our single date, engaged and married, which is the whole community of love. Hopefully, if you're listening to this, obviously that's the space that you're wanting to achieve and you want to be successful at, and you want to surround yourself around other people that are going to encourage you. I really, really, you know highly recommend that you do something different today to create a different result for the future, so that you're setting yourself up for don't know. You fill out a profile so that we can 100% get to know you better and maybe consider you for a perfect match for one of our clients. That's the right match for them that God has designed.
Renee:I hope that you have found this helpful and beneficial for when it comes to the important role that community does build in our Christian singles who are dating and trying to find the right pathway to meeting the love of their life so as One True Match. Obviously, that's our entire mission of what we do on a daily basis to help people in the journey, preparing and enriching their minds to be set up for the marriage-minded relationship that they desire, that they are prayerfully praying for Tune in next week, as we are always talking about all things love and relationships on Thursday. So make sure you put it on your calendar or whatever, or follow us so you hear about our next dating tips that we have coming up and our next talk we're going to talk about is dating with a purposed, intentional courtship. So again, right now we're kind of in the singles phase of this, but again, if you're married, listening how to date your mate all over again in an intentional courtship is not a bad idea. In regards to how I also say if you're single, listen to things that are married. It goes both ways because you're also, if you're happily married, I want you to stay intentional in your courtship of what you initially signed up to do, so that you have this loving relationship.
Renee:Relationship is something that you should always be working on. It should be something you should always be growing so that you can continue to have what we all dream of this loving relationship that just empowers you on a level that you've never felt before. That makes you better and makes your mate better, and it makes the world better, which is truly what God has designed for love and relationships to be. I'm going to love and leave you and I hope you have a blessed day. Bye, it's been another great talk on this episode of One True Talks by Renee Rochelle. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, god bless. Xoxo.