1 True Talks
1 True Talks
Dating with Purpose: Casual Dating VS Intentional Courtship
What if your approach to dating could lead to a lifelong, fulfilling marriage? Discover the secrets behind dating with a purpose as Renee Richel, founder and president of One True Match, shares her invaluable insights and expertise on intentional courtship. This episode sheds light on the profound differences between casual dating and purposeful dating, providing you with the tools to navigate the often tumultuous world of relationships. Renee emphasizes the necessity of aligning core values and beliefs with a potential partner to build a strong, lasting foundation for marriage.
Join us as we discuss practical tips for setting goals, intentions, and boundaries from the very beginning of a relationship. Learn how to balance the excitement of a new romance with the importance of creating a spiritual foundation through prayer and meaningful conversations. Renee shares her best strategies for transitioning from casual encounters to a meaningful courtship that encourages mutual growth and clarity. Whether you're just starting out or looking to redefine your approach to love, this episode is your guide to cultivating the relationship of your dreams.
Hi, I'm Renee Richel, the founder and president of One True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world. Hello, loves, welcome back.
Renee Richel:Today we are going to talk about dating with a purpose. Intentional courtship is so important. What we're going to talk about today is highlighting the difference between casual dating and purposeful dating that ultimately leads to a lasting marriage, which is what the problem is today when it comes to actually dating and finding somebody. So we're going to dive into it and begin, so hopefully this helps you when it comes to looking for a relationship that has long intention courtship. All right. So number one would be establishing the difference between casual dating versus intentional courtship. Casual dating usually lacks commitment. It can be fun, but there is no direction or long-term relationship goals ultimately, which leads to heartbreak. How many times have we had this happen to us where we go on and on in relationships and then we have this complete letdown because we were casually dating somebody that wasn't looking for a serious relationship. Casual dating causes emotional instability, insecurity, confusion and potential conflict with core Christian values, which is number one to figure out whether or not they have the same morals, values and beliefs as you. Intentional courtship has clear intentions from the start, focusing on the intentions to someday marry, which that's where everybody should be when you're looking for a long-term relationship that will lead towards marriage. Intentional courtship builds clarity, strong foundations for marriage and encourages mutual growth for both the man and a woman.
Renee Richel:Now the question is how do we actually detect that from the beginning? Number one, I would say, first and foremost, out of the gate, ask a little bit about their past. Ask them and I always tell everybody, don't get into their entire dating history, but ask them just about questions in general of the things that they've done in their past, just in life, like, go back through the timeline of them actually storytelling and sharing with you the things that they've learned, the things that they've done, to really see is their patterns worth or leading in the right direction, of somebody that is going to learn, grow and continuously want to be in a relationship, opposed to somebody that's casually dating. Number two is how do I build a courtship? Because ultimately, that's what everybody wants to get into is a long-term relationship and not a short-term relationship. So remember to set goals, intentions and boundaries right from the beginning.
Renee Richel:A lot of times, everybody wants to quickly get into a relationship and quickly do the phone calls and quickly do the let's get together. Let's get together long before they actually are building that foundational relationship which is so, so valuable. When it comes to thinking about spending the rest of your life with somebody, everybody's so quick to just jump into a relationship and go on the feel-good path, and so today, really what's important, if you walk away with nothing more, is also create a spiritual foundation, prayer and Bible time, or have that time to really be intentional while you're praying for this person, but also while you're thinking about the questions that are really important to get to know somebody. I know that there's many times, especially in the matchmaking world, we're talking to our clients, we're talking to our matches and everybody has a different story of the pathway they went down to begin a relationship and what they've done and what they haven't Some want to come with a loaded of 25 questions out of the gate. That's intimidating to somebody. It is important that you also build this friendship of trust and fun that takes time and less is more, in ways that you're sharing things that are important but are fun, that are engaging, that you want to get on that next call instead of interrogating and feeling like, oh my gosh, we're not walking down the aisle tomorrow and this can be confusing when I'm talking about also thinking about that direction. But it is so, so valuable to be able to make sure that you are always spending quality time and thinking through the steps to build that courtship and make sure that you're also being honest in your communication and you're spending the time that it takes to build the friendship first and foremost, that it takes to build the friendship first and foremost. And accountability and support is really important when it comes to building a courtship with mentors whether it be in your church, community, family and friends that are also there really supporting and guiding a relationship so that you're growing the courtship and the foundational root of what you're also looking for to have a long-term marriage.
Renee Richel:And then I think the one question that nobody ever really asks themselves, or they should more frequently is am I truly ready? Am I truly ready to date and be in a relationship and be in a not casual dating situation but an intentional courtship where your goals are? You know, have I focused on my own self? Have I truly focused on what? We do, a needs and wants analysis with all of our clients and all of our matches to really determine what this life with this person will look like? Any successful business owner, or just in general, any successful person, always looks at the long-term goals and then dissects it and works it backwards. It's the same thing when it comes to truly being ready in a relationship. Everybody wants to be in love, everybody wants to be loved. Everybody wants to be in a relationship to feel what they have that overwhelming, you know, just love. That's unconditional.
Renee Richel:Problem is, when we're not truly ready, we get into these relationships and it leads us off our path no-transcript courtship that we desire. So some of the questions to ask yourself is are you spiritually ready? Are you prayerful in praying for guidance for who your future mate is, and are you being honest to prepare yourself and your heart for the right person? I cannot tell you how many people we have talked to, that we have put them through coaching and training and skill set building to prepare them to truly know who the Lord has designed them to be, not only through the steps where maybe they led away from their path or came back or truly were seeking the Lord for the first time, where they now discover themselves at whatever journey they're along, whether you're our 20-year-olds or our 40 or 50 or 60 or even 70-year-olds I am still training literally just the fundamental values of relationship, core building skills, and it truly begins with you. So think through the things that are important to you. Stop thinking about the little mundane, little details that you think aren't so important now and think about the long-term qualities and values of somebody that matters most, so that you can build this forever intentional courtship which is so different in a mindset than just dating and have patience for the right one.
Renee Richel:I think so many times everybody just wants to be in a relationship and, of course, with online dating and the temptations that are out there and the swiping right and swiping left to just get into that next relationship, and you see people in love and you think I'm just going to jump into this relationship because I need to just be in a relationship to be successful. No, I tell everybody, especially even our clients. Well, we're going through the journey of interviewing hundreds and hundreds of candidates for them and we remind them that this is all in God's timing. Who the right person is, that ultimately, two people God has been preparing will work out in his perfect timing. So during that journey, we tell all of our clients, we tell everybody when they ask, when somebody asks you, you know who are you dating today or what's your love life? Look like that's when you just say I'm dating Jesus and literally everybody stops.
Renee Richel:It just means I'm being intentional in my prayer for the love of my life, I'm being intentional and purposeful in my design of discovery of who I am and I'm creating a new way of living so that you create a new identity, not only in yourself but also attract a different type than you ever have before because of what you're putting out there, not only to everybody around you but also the universe. That just is like a magnet that comes to you because of your entire focus and direction, of what you're thinking and what you feel is a game changer. And so our clients that get matched sooner than others. I always tell everybody. It's not us, it's in the heart and the soul of our client, and the Lord knows the ones that are truly ready. And the ones that are truly ready are the ones that are matched so much quicker, and so many times clients will say well, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.
Renee Richel:I feel like sometimes those are the ones that we need to dive deeper, to really remind them of their prayerful journey, along with also some self-discovery. That needs to happen, because you could be ready all on your own, you could be ready, but a relationship takes two people, and so it's important, even though you're ready, that you really think through what it's like to be with you. What is it like to be with you, and are there things that you can look at in past relationships or the lack of any relationship leading up to this? But what would that look like? To stare at yourself in the mirror through the eyes of another person, to autocorrect the things that need to be improved on so that you can be a better mate and ally for yourself, for the fulfillment and the joy that you're looking for in a relationship, but also for the other mate that you want to come in your life so you can attract that person.
Renee Richel:And remember to date with purpose, make choices and actions that align with the goal of marriage, actions that align with the goal of marriage. So you know if you're not already right out of the gate having just the energy or the conversation or just the you know excitement that you should have, that's not somebody. That's probably dating with intention or purpose. And how do you detect that right out of the gate? The best question to ever ask somebody, especially on the first date because again never dive into the past as far as date like who have you dated? What was your last relationship? Don't dive into any of that stuff. But if you ask somebody after, just the basic questions is like what is their passion, what is their purpose? And you can get a lot of information right out of there, without even asking about their past or anything else, of what they do with, what fuels them, what drives them to know are they somebody that you would be compatible with, in alignment to your own passions, your own desires? That God will definitely connect to those individuals at the right time. I hope that you have found this helpful and beneficial for all things when it comes to dating with purpose and intentional courtship, that these little tips you will use in next time you go on a date and when you're thinking about dating.
Renee Richel:Next week, tune in. Every Thursday, we have a new podcast of how to handle rejection and heartbreak with grace, which, that is definitely something you don't want to miss. I can't wait to talk to you and have more conversations. Lots of love. Have a blessed one. It's been another great talk on this episode of One True Talks by Renee Richel. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, god bless. Xoxo.