1 True Talks
1 True Talks
From Awkward to Awesome: 10 Tips for Engaging Conversations
Can a simple icebreaker transform your dating experience? We believe it can. Discover the art of sparking meaningful conversations and setting the perfect tone for your dates. We start the episode by sharing effective icebreakers and playful questions that ease initial tension, setting a comfortable atmosphere. Quickly moving into deeper dialogue, learn the power of open-ended questions, active listening, and discussing shared interests. We also highlight the significance of storytelling in revealing who you are, establishing a connection grounded in understanding and compromise.
But wait, there’s more! We also delve into effective date preparation tips to ensure your time together is engaging and respectful. From minimizing distractions by keeping your gadgets out of sight to openly communicating faith and values, we cover it all. Fun and creativity in date ideas, like sports or themed outings, are encouraged to foster a strong connection. Plus, we provide strategies for handling awkward moments gracefully and emphasize giving dates multiple chances to see if a genuine connection can bloom. Tune in and equip yourself with the tools for making your dating experiences both enjoyable and meaningful.
Hi, I'm Renee Rochell, the founder and president of One True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world.
Renee Richel:Hello, loves, welcome back to another fun episode that we are going to talk about all things relationships and today we are going to talk about the top 10 conversation starters. So last week, if you didn't watch the podcast, go back and it was all about coming up with creative date ideas. How do we now keep the conversation flowing that leads to just deeper and longer and fun conversations that wants your date to keep coming back. So what we're going to do is we are going to I'm going to share some ideas of how to make it to the next topic of conversation that will just help you ebb and flow in your dates. So let's begin. So number one would be the icebreaker right. How do we discuss effective icebreakers that can help ease the initial tension and create a comfortable atmosphere or environment when you're obviously with this person for the first time. Obviously, we kind of know just things. In general, I always tell everybody start off with a compliment, even if it's something that you wouldn't normally give or you don't really ever tell somebody, oh, you love the way they look or they're beautiful or they're so handsome. Start off with a compliment it's the best icebreaker in the world. Or, if you want to keep it light and fun, there's so many questions you can ask and I feel like one of the famous ones is always you know, if you could have dinner with anybody, who would it be and why? That are just fun little icebreaker questions that kind of just start the tone of a playful way to, you know, just begin the conversations.
Renee Richel:Number two would be open-ended questions, Highlight the importance of asking open-ended questions and encourage meaningful conversations. So you know, obviously part of open-ended questions are asking them and right now I'm laughing because of our political scenario we're in. An open-ended question would be what do you think about politics? No, I'm just kidding, don't ask that. But that is definitely an open-ended question. But coming up with open-ended questions that really allow them to not answer with one word. I feel like I'm doing this with my daughter all the time, because I want her to tell me about her day and not just say, oh, it was fine, right. So think of things that help somebody to share more than having it just be obviously a one-word answer.
Renee Richel:Number three would be active listening, emphasizing the value of active listening skills, such as emphasizing and asking follow-up questions. So by active listening, you are obviously, you know, making sure that you hear what they say, that you're also, you know, responding in a way that you're not already thinking about what you want to say before the next person does. And I mean there is nothing more valuable than taking your time to have conversations and then just trying to speed through the process of asking what's already in your head, all the questions you need to know before you go on a second date. I think that in today's dating world, that is another failure that continuously happens to people that they don't get to the second or third date. They're in this fast and furious path of am I going to be with this person, am I not? Do I want to? My time is precious, it's very valuable. Do I want to continue on Because we're all busy working professionals, right. Valuable do I want to continue on Because we're all busy working professionals, right, but there is value in active listening, not only for the present but also the future, when it comes to learning something about each other and taking the time to learn about each little subject or anything you talk about, and go deeper and learn more and ask questions.
Renee Richel:Number four would be sharing interests. Okay, and so you know, encouraging each other to like talk about the things that either you've done in the past, or things that maybe are in your bucket list that you've always wanted to do or want to try, or you or I don't know, like skiing, or something that you've never done before but maybe you've always want. Maybe you want to travel because you've always wanted a partner to travel with. Talk about certain things that are shared interest, but also things that are adventurous, that maybe you've always wanted to do with somebody adventurous that maybe you've always wanted to do with somebody, because it is definitely helpful to have some commonalities when it comes to common interests, but it's okay if they're different, like if one loves sports like I'm using the example of football, for example and the other one is not as big of a football fan. It's something that when you find the true love of your life, it's called compromising and spending time together. So every once in a while you go to a football game, right, and you bring your all and you have a blast with it. It's not something you're going to do all the time, unless you both are definitely into football and that's like your new hobby that you enjoy doing together. And if you go to a couple of those games and that's not what your desired choice is and you would rather be at the museum or some concert of some symphony or something like that, guess what? If you show up with a positive attitude, with the love of your life, you'll have fun wherever you are. They'll do the same for you. So, remember, the interests don't have to be exactly the same. The goal is to find somebody that you want to spend any interest together doing and continuously.
Renee Richel:Number five would be storytelling. So this tip that I'm giving you is about sharing your story of who you are. So you know when we're going into getting to know somebody, it's obvious they were fact-finding about their life and everything else. But I think the one common thing that people forget about is sharing not only where they've been, but where they are and where they want to be. As a highlight reel, you don't have to get into all the very nitty-gritty details of like, okay, so when I was born on this day, it was a cold, windy day and I was born in da da da. No, like, tell your story in a highlight reel.
Renee Richel:Practice, before you go on the date, listen to what you sound like. Are you constantly putting your foot in your mouth? Are you constantly like, messing up what you're kind of saying because it sounds like boring? Right, practice it. Practice in front of the mirror. Is it in a way that sounds positive, encouraging, exciting, something that somebody would walk away and be like, wow, they've done something with their life and they've made something out of the thick of, maybe, what they've been through or the highs of what they've experienced. To better their walk in life and maybe improve upon what they're doing or help others is a definite great way to storytell. If you don't have a story yet, right Like, maybe you don't, maybe you're still growing and you're younger in your dating phase, of what you're looking for. Is it so, so important that you then start creating a story so that you're better prepared to have the conversations that'll be attracting that person in being unique is huge when it comes to the sea of dating today.
Renee Richel:Number six would be avoiding taboo topics. Okay, when I talk about taboo and I mentioned earlier, of course, our clients that we're introducing to matches and compatible people we already ask all the really big topics like their faith, their political difference, do they drink, do they not like all these things that matter, obviously, but when it comes to just meeting somebody that you don't know anything about, avoiding taboo topics are things like don't go too deep in the trenches of, you know, heaven forbid, there was a death in their family or something that's just not. You know a positive way of keeping the conversation light and fun fun, but not talking about something or bringing something back up that maybe they didn't feel comfortable sharing. Because I always tell everybody don't air all the details about everything on your first couple of dates, because you don't even know if you're going to see this person again. Keep some things in reserve that are important to share with somebody that you know is going to be in your life for a longer period of time and they've fallen in love with you. So, whatever you tell them they are so ready to receive and so in love with you to respect whatever it is you went through that they only are going to love you more. Pick and choose the times to obviously talk about the deeper things and avoid those kind of taboo topics that I feel like sometimes come up early on. That don't create a positive environment.
Renee Richel:Number seven would be body language. So if you've had a bad day at work or you've had, I don't know, something's just switched your mindset and your spirit, remember how you represent yourself is how somebody is going to see you and there's going to be their first impression. You have like 30 seconds to impress somebody. So, as I'm even sitting here today, I feel like it's important, you know, put your shoulders back. My mother always says peacock proud, shoulders back, smile right, peacocks are beautiful. He says peacock proud, shoulders back, smile right, peacocks are beautiful. And so remember your body language. You should always have your arms like open, not your arms folded, which just means like bug off, right when you kind of have that crossed arm expression. Or when you're sitting, sit upright, don't slouch over, lean. In that you're interested in them. Talk with the sparkle of your eyes.
Renee Richel:Now for you men. That might sound a little bit weird, but all I'm saying is open your eyes when you're talking to that person. Don't look like you're falling asleep. Obviously, if you're exhausted and you've already planned this date, stick to it, but drink some coffee or whatever it is that's going to wake you up. Obviously, if you have something that's terrible, that has happened throughout your day, then reschedule the date. But you know and also remember, all the things that you do in the very beginning are little details that everybody is interpreting as they're interested or they're not. So definitely remember the way that you set. You know, obviously, if you're a man, look masculine, because that's what us women are so attracted to. For a woman, come dressed to be on a date, put yourself in some heels, or, if you're coming from the office, have another pair of heels in your car and, you know, cross your legs and be feminine, but also be confident, as if you know this is something that you're so excited and confident in how you're representing yourself and so interested in the person that you are sitting in front of.
Renee Richel:Another thing, which is not on here, that I'm going to add to this list, since we go through this kind of prior to these podcasts is make sure also your phone is down. I know for anybody out there that's a mom or a dad, it's important that obviously you're able to be accessible to your children God forbid something happens or a family member if there's something going on. But express that from the beginning that maybe your kiddos are with a babysitter or heaven forbid somebody in your family is in the hospital or something right now that you're going to leave your phone on the table flipped over upside down but there could be an emergency or something of that sort. Or, honestly, don't even put the phone up. Everybody has. I always tell everybody take your smart watches off or anything that's going to actually distract you so that you're not showing the body language that they're not important to you and you're swiping through your watch or you're looking at your phone, like, keep the phone flat down so you can't see the face of it. Or, better yet, just keep it in your purse or your wallet or your pocket or wherever it is, or on the bench or the chair or something like that, so that you are showing you are my number one priority and I'm excited to be here and only with you. So dedicate that quality time to a date and, in respect, find somebody that does the same and sees value in that is paramount to how everything will unfold in your future relationship and value time.
Renee Richel:Okay, number eight is faith and value, which is pretty much what we just talked about. Obviously, this is diving into you, know their spiritual walk. I always tell everybody, obviously as a Christian matchmaking company, to talk about your faith, talk about you know your values, your morals, your beliefs in a respectful manner, obviously, but also your testimony. This is a great time when we're talking about storytelling, but to talk about the moment when you found your faith. In addition to that right. So you know, there's your story of your life, and then there's also your story of your testimony and your faith and where you're at and be proud of it. You know it's definitely something that if you're new to discovering your faith and you're on this journey of not really sure, like you believe in God but you've maybe led away from it or you've had some bad experiences and now you're trying to find your faith, share that. They'll probably invite you, which is like. The next step, that is.
Renee Richel:Number nine is to remember to have fun. Active date ideas. There's nothing better than our last podcast we just shared about fun date ideas is to have the next date idea already in your head so that, if it's going really, really well and knowing their common interests because you're doing active listening right, and you're talking about all the things that you guys share together that you enjoy doing invite them to go to, like the next baseball game, or to go play pickleball or to go I don't know race car driving together or golfing or I don't know. One of the things we just talked about in the last podcast was bowling, doing the ABC alphabet dating right, which is super fun, and say, all right, so we're on date one which is letter A, right, and then go to B, like, be playful with it too, be creative, and so you know, come up with some great fun date ideas that will really help you to. You know, get to that next date and just deeper in conversations of things that you guys can discuss, you know, talk about, you know what your normal week looks like and things like that. So you also know when you're going to be able to get together again if the date is going obviously well.
Renee Richel:And number 10 is handling awkward moments. So we get this often and not based normally on our dates going out, but because we equipped and we prepare all of our clients and matches really step-by-step, how you know, to proceed in the process of not only the introduction to then the first date, the second date, the third date, and our goal is to get all of our clients to the third date, to the fifth date and then the seventh golden date, which is two people starting to really get to that level of wanting to be exclusive and dating each other, to grow the relationship and see where it goes. But if you're on a date and you haven't been introduced to anybody by us and you're out there meeting somebody, handling the awkward moments is definitely something that happens often and it may be because maybe just that chemistry is not there or you don't really know what to do, because there's an awkward silent moment. Bring something up to avoid that silence period, whether it be asking that random icebreaker question, like something that's going to take them off of, whatever the subject is, that's kind of led to quietness, which might be something that's awkward, uncomfortable, or they don't know how to respond. So find something that you can bring up that'll obviously change the conversation in a positive way, so that you can kindly and gracefully obviously conclude or thank them for such a wonderful time and nobody feels that there was anything that was wrong.
Renee Richel:And remember, even if it's not the right date or the right person sometimes we never know until we go on that third date or that fourth date and give somebody a chance, everybody's nervous on the first date. You have no idea where it's going to go. Go into it looking at, is it an opportunity to try something new? Meet somebody that the Lord has presented you. And it's great practice because the more that we practice these great 10 conversational points that I've just shared, the better we're going to be when we do meet the one. That will just ebb and flow and you won't have to think about all these little steps anymore. It'll just naturally happen because you've practiced some of these great tips that'll get you to that glorious golden seven date, we say, with the same person, so that you can sail off into the sunset knowing that you're on the right direction.
Renee Richel:And there's so many other tips and so many other exercises and ideas that we have for our couples once they begin an exclusive relationship, where it's asking the next questions to grow to the next level of their dating journey to be seamless and also engaging on a deeper level to know is this the person that I could eventually see down the road forever? And so if you need some additional questions, because maybe you're somebody that is now in that exclusive relationship and you want to take it to the next level, to see if it will continue to grow into the path of maybe, someday, engagement and then marriage, please tune into us or call or text or send us a message, and we would love to give you some other great suggestions when it comes to book suggestions. Check out our other podcasts, check out our other tips and tools that we have on our other previous podcast and just topics of things that might help you when it comes to dating. So I hope you have found this beneficial and helpful.
Renee Richel:Next week, we're going to talk about my favorite, which is the 72-hour rule and the importance that it has on all relationships, not just romantic love relationships, but relationships in general when you're at your office, when you're at work or wherever you are, and when you master this skill, it's incredible how much it changes your daily walk and your daily path. So I hope you have a blessed day and I can't wait for our next talk next Thursday. It's been another great talk on this episode of One True Talks by Renee Richel. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, god bless XOXO.