1 True Talks
1 True Talks
From Reaction to Reflection: The 72-Hour Rule
What if you could transform your relationships by simply waiting 72 hours before responding? In this episode, we uncover the power of the 72-hour rule and its profound impact on your romantic, professional, and familial interactions. By giving yourself time to process emotions, you allow for clearer thinking and better decision-making. We delve into the psychological benefits of this practice and highlight the importance of prayer, reflection, and seeking divine guidance. Learn how journaling your thoughts during this period can lead to more honest, understanding, and empathetic responses, reducing impulsive reactions and fostering healthier communication.
Discover how breaking down the 72-hour waiting period into three manageable 24-hour segments can drastically improve your emotional responses. We'll discuss how an initial pause allows for emotional cooling, followed by reflective thinking, and finally, a thoughtful presentation of your response. This method not only enhances personal and professional relationships but also supports a balanced lifestyle that prioritizes family time and self-care. Tune in to learn practical tips that can transform misunderstandings and emotional triggers into opportunities for deeper connection and understanding.
Hi, I'm Renee Richel, the founder and president of One True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world. Hello, loves, welcome back.
Renee Richel:I am beyond excited about talking about the 72-hour rule, but if any of you know me or have heard me talk about this, I feel like I'm preaching this on a daily basis to so many people. So today we're going to talk about the 72-hour rule and the importance it has on all areas of relationships, not just romance, but also the relationships that you have in your work, family, your friends. So listen up. If you've not heard this before, definitely write down some of these important tips, because it's going to help you for the rest of your life. If you remember and apply this rule, so let's begin. Rest of your life if you remember and apply this rule, so let's begin.
Renee Richel:Okay, so to start off, what is the 72-hour rule? Great question, I have the answer. So the 72-hour rule was designed literally by my own walk and I am going to share with you at the end of this, my experience and how it became something that I use almost on a daily basis. And it's a game changer. So it's all about taking three days, 72 hours, to process before reacting to something, importance of giving grace in all relationships. So why 72 hours? Everybody always asks me right. Well, it allows time for emotions to settle, it provides space for clear thinking and better decision making. So how many times, when something happens or something that's a big deal, something that is a game changer whether it comes to a career, maybe where you live, or a decision that you're trying to process reflect and think about, right, what happens to your psychological mind in the first five minutes of getting news, in the first 10 hours of getting news, the first 24 hours, to then just pause and not actually respond or react to something? That then what the next 48 hours looks like, leading to the next 72 hours where you will actually share a well-thought-out response to something or a major decision, when you have the time to think through all the steps of your psychological path that you will take through the next 72 hours is paramount. I know I use that word all the time, but it is a game changer when it comes to how you have the relationships you do and the way that you elegantly respond to things and the decisions. That will set you up for a better response in the future, to come up with win-win scenarios.
Renee Richel:So I always tell everybody something huge sit on it, pray about it, spend time reflecting and respond in a way that is going to be a godly response. That'll be the right answer 72 hours from now. So how do you apply the 72-hour rule? Well, like I just said, pray about it, reflect, speak to ask for God's guidance on really what it is you're thinking, you're feeling. It gives you the ability to, you know, have that time out that you are going to be able to, you know, think through, so you don't make a quick decision. You know turn to scripture to gain biblical wisdom about your situation and feelings. Lean on the Lord and ask him for wisdom, clarity and patience, which I know that's the hardest word to pray for. But when you have this window of time, that is kind of like a deadline but yet gives you that window of time to not feel like you have to come up with a reaction, it will literally help and transform your life. So, remember, some people like to journal about it. I always love to pull up my notes in my phone and kind of just write down things that are coming to my mind, whether it be about a situation, a scenario or emotion. That helps me in a new way to manage and also be able to do and respond in the right, correct manner.
Renee Richel:What is the benefits of the 72-hour rule? I get asked all the time. It reduces the immediate response, that is, that knee-jerk emotion. I mean, how many times does somebody get a text from somebody and you're just like what just happened? Because they were speaking and thinking out emotions. And so the benefits of it is it encourages honesty, thoughtful responses. That fosters healthier and more effective communication. You know it promotes understanding and empathy.
Renee Richel:So when you get a text from somebody and they don't know this role and they just quickly respond to something, or they don't actually reread something that is maybe huge, or something that they don't think about how you would react to something, or it was all one-sided and you're just blown away Instead of quickly picking up your phone and sending out something that you cannot take back. And even in today's day and age, if you have an iPhone, you can edit something, but I have to be honest, that person may have already still seen it, even edited, right. So there's so many things and words stick with people. Words can reread things. So if you send something in an email or something in a text, they are going to dissect that and they're going to read into it more than what you probably even intended, because you didn't take the time to actually process, reflect and think what it is you really wanted to say or your response. So when do I use the 72-hour rule Like I was just talking about, like misunderstandings on a date or a bad date or just a bad day.
Renee Richel:Like it's important that friends and family have made, like if your friends or your family or somebody has made a hurtful comment, or like I was saying earlier, maybe it's a, maybe you just got a job, placement, career in a whole different city or a town and you'd have to move your whole family, or it changes just your daily routine, just even as simple as I don't know. Maybe you can't go to the gym at the same time anymore. Maybe you can't pick up your kid, or like you can't have date night Wednesdays or date night whatever, like something that is going to not be easy for either your family, your friends or somebody else to digest, or even internally, it's something that you really have to consider. Am I making this decision for the money, or am I making this decision when it comes to a career for the long term, of what my future goals are? And so when somebody even gives you a position or they say something like this to you, or it's something hurtful, or an anger, or like a situation at work is arising and somebody's starting to like say things that aren't you know true, right, like we always say in all things that we do, if somebody projects something on you that is not true, don't let that affect you in a way that's going to continuously tear you down. Like if somebody tells you something like take that time to process, reflect and think so that you are able to use this in a way, going back to have the outcome that you're truly looking for where you can have a real conversation and not an emotional conversation, to lead to the win-win success of where you're have a real conversation and not an emotional conversation to lead to the win-win success of where you're looking for. So in those 72 hours, the goal is to either you share with somebody like I know there's been moments where I've got a lot going on and I will personally say, okay, nobody takes this the wrong way, I might be just a little bit quiet, I just learned some news and so I just want to process, reflect and think. So I need, like, the next 72 hours to like come back and then share. It's nothing that anybody did, it's nothing that anybody is like in trouble or something happened that's affecting them. It's just something that in 72 hours, I'd rather share what I'm processing, reflecting and using.
Renee Richel:So I would say, as I was saying earlier, my own personal experience of why I came up with this rule is because in my younger years of not my wiser and gone through life journey is I would respond really quickly to things. It's almost like fight or flight right that a lot of us have, because none of us were taught relationship skills. We were just taught. When you're asked a question, to respond and you know we were all taught a lot of us is like to be strong is to have no emotions. So you stuff feelings, right, so you don't even know how you feel. And so many people are quick to react to an emotional feeling or preconceived judgment or notion before they actually know something, because they get up in their own head and create their own story.
Renee Richel:So when I realized in life, if I would start taking a little bit more time to respond and started thinking it through all case scenarios not only through, also my own eyes which in the first 24 hours you're thinking through whatever emotions, that would be huge. That would change why you're feeling the way that you are. Or if somebody accuses you of something and you're like, oh my gosh, like woe is me and what did I do? And all of these thoughts, right. And then in the next 48 hours, it's amazing, how then you create this new process of thinking where you're also like, okay, I can maybe see why they would think this, or your reflection or prayer time is also leading you more towards. I know they do love me, I know that they didn't mean this, I know that this would ultimately lead to a better future for things, right. And then in that 72 hours which is the last 24 hours of those 72 hours, right is to really think through of how you're going to share this with somebody and they understand the journey that you took to get to the decision, or the sharing of a new idea if you're in a relationship Because if you're in a relationship, if it's a major decision, you should be making that together. But sharing it's like your presentation of this emotional train of thought so that you communicate in a way that's understood, it's empathetic and it's well-received. And it is insane the difference, when you storytell your own heart through this journey with somebody in a 72-hour process, of how you don't keep getting into the same subjects, the same scenarios, and you create a new way of living. You have a new result and it's so much more enjoyable for all than when we quickly react to things that we cannot take our words back on in that 72-hour window.
Renee Richel:And if you think about it, some people will be like 72 hours, that's a long period of time. No, it's really not. When you look at life, 72 hours is not a long period of time. We have to set boundaries in things that we do and, to be honest, if somebody didn't respond to something that was heavy in those 72 hours, they're probably also thinking, because you didn't respond that you are like now. Maybe they said something wrong and they're able to process and reflect and I always tell everybody if you're putting somebody in that 72-hour window, let them know. So maybe they just said something that was ugly or something that was hurtful and just say I appreciate you sharing how you feel.
Renee Richel:I'd like to take the next 72 hours to process, reflect, so that I can respond in a manner that I think would be best for both of us. I feel like this is a moment where the crowd, you know, claps and cheers right, where it's like, yes, that's the best plan ever to take that time so that they also know in 72 hours you're going to come back and you're going to have this conversation. So it's not the thought of, oh my gosh, are they ever going to come back? Are we ever going to come up with a solution? And it's a way of saying I care about you, I love you, I want to be successful in our career path together, in our relationship journey together, so that we ultimately can move forward in the process of a loving relationship to be successful. So I hope that this makes sense, obviously, obviously to you.
Renee Richel:I encourage you to practice it today with something, big or little, and see and write down in journals. So like in your first 24 hours, from a moment you got news journal, whatever thoughts, feelings and emotions you have around it In the next 24 hours or 48-hour window. I want you to then come back and write down now maybe what you can do to either improve on the situation and or what the other person was thinking, so that it's like this entire script of really what you are trying to say in a manner that you can then go back to in 72 hours total, to tie it all up in a pretty bow and present it and share it with somebody. That will make sense, like when we send our date nights out on a Friday. Obviously our offices are closed because we all practice what we preach, which is having our time with our family and friends and having off time.
Renee Richel:Like love is a 24, seven, 360 day world right that we're always in love. It's like our heart. It's constantly pumping and so we take that time so we can have off to be with our friends, our family, to refresh ourselves, so that we are on point and we are happy and excited and so ready for our clients the Monday through Friday that we're there for them and even in the moments when they really really need us. But the biggest reason we also do that is so that if somebody goes on a date, we want them to have time to process, reflect and think before giving feedback on somebody because maybe something was misunderstood. Do another phone call. Spend more time when you need that time to get the information that you need so that you are truly able to be the best version of yourself for not only you, for the Lord, but also your future or the love of your life today. I hope you have found this information helpful and beneficial.
Renee Richel:As I always say, and remember to look at some of our other podcasts that we have on other topics that maybe you want to even go deeper on. When it comes to understanding personality differences and your love language differences and why we make the decisions that we have to remember to always surround yourself around healthy relationships that are only thriving like you are, and anything that you learn, teach and preach to other people, because the more people in your circle that have the same 72-hour roles or tips that we give and guide people in, the more we're in the same routine, so that we're speaking the same language to be able to have effective and healthy communication skills. Tune in next week. Every Thursday we share more and new tips that will help you on your relationship journey to not only finding the love of your life, preparing yourself finding the love of your life and then enriching that relationship to grow for a lifetime in a healthy and loving and exciting way.
Renee Richel:Next week we're gonna talk about how to guide and protect your heart in dating. So if that is you looking for some tips with that, tune in and we will share more then. I hope you have a blessed and wonderful day. I can't wait till our next chat. It's been another great talk on this episode of One True Talks by Renee Richel. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, god bless XOXO.