1 True Talks
1 True Talks
Navigating Conflict with Grace: Fighting Fair in Faith-Based Relationships
Can mastering conflict actually strengthen your bond rather than weaken it? Tune in to discover how even the strongest Christian relationships can navigate through conflicts with grace and emerge stronger. We kick off by unpacking key insights such as how misunderstandings and unmet expectations often lie at the root of disagreements. Learn the importance of taking a moment to pause and reflect before responding, and how the 72-hour rule can help you process your emotions effectively. Keeping kindness and love at the forefront and inviting God into your relationship are crucial steps we emphasize for achieving lasting harmony.
We delve deeper into the power of prayer as a transformative tool for peace and reconciliation. By seeking God's guidance both individually and as a couple, you can foster wisdom, patience, and a more compassionate view of your partner. We share actionable strategies for rebuilding trust and creating a peaceful environment for open conversations. Plus, gather tips on handling conflicts in ways that honor God and strengthen your relationship. As we wrap up, we leave you with a heartfelt prayer and invite you to share your questions and comments for future episodes. Don’t miss next week’s exploration of love and respect as the foundational pillars of strong relationships!
Hi, I'm Renee Rochel, the founder and president of One True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world. Hello, loves, welcome back.
Renee Richel:I am so excited to talk about this topic. This week. We are going to talk about conflict resolution and fighting fair in a faith-based relationship, which, if you've listened to any of our other podcasts, they are all flowing into one another. So I encourage you to go back since we share a new podcast every Thursday to go back to some of our other previous topics from the weeks before, to get all the nuggets. You need tools and tips to help you in your relationship, but I want to dive right into this because there's a lot to cover, and so I want to make sure that we get right into it and we are talking about the tips and tools that will help you to fight fair in your relationship.
Renee Richel:So, first of all, remember we are all human, all human. None of us are perfect, not even the people that you think are in the best. Relationships that put on the show, that think are going so amazingly, incredibly well that maybe you're jealous of or maybe you think, oh, I wish I could be in more of a relationship like that. Everybody has conflict and it is just. It's something that's going to happen regardless. So you know, it's all about how we handle it. Either we build on the relationship from it or it'll tear us apart and break the relationship. So I'm going to give tips of ways that can help you resolve conflict in a relationship. So, number one conflict in a Christian relationship. Even the strongest faith-based relationships experience conflict. Conflict isn't a sign of a weak relationship. It's actually the sign that strengthens a relationship, which could sound completely backwards than the average person out there saying that conflict is something that can tear a relationship apart. I believe if you master the gift of conflict, you're actually going to grow your relationship so it doesn't get stagnant and boring. Conflict can actually be used for your advantage to get to know each other better, which one of our podcasts we talked about before, which was all about emotional intimacy. So definitely watch that to dive in deeper. But think of it that way instead of it being a negative, because when we shift our trajectory of the way that we think we're able to resolve things so differently than being a negative, because when we shift our trajectory of the way that we think we're able to resolve things so differently than in a negative way. So remember that tip.
Renee Richel:Why does conflict happen? Usually it's because of a misunderstanding or an unmet expectations. Differences in values, you know, like multiple different things is why conflict typically happens. Don't let your emotions get the best of you. There is a role, of many roles. My golden nuggets, I say that I say is a 72-hour role. Listen to that podcast if you have not. What the 72-hour role is, but basically it reminds you to stop, reflect, process and then share when it's the right time for two people, not just you or not just them, but it's the right time for both of you to have the time to process, reflect, think and share, just like it says in Ephesians 4, 26 through 27,.
Renee Richel:A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath. Just think about it. How many times have situations occurred in your life that have just spiraled into just topics of things you're not even talking about. That we're just know. Get our way out of something and it turns into more and more argument, and so, you know, because of that, it does create people to say things that they don't mean in emotional situations. So remember it's, you know, really important to be able to stop and think before you share something, because the wise one is the one that does not speak in anger, and we all know that we get emotional about things. So there's times in those situations whatever it is like, you know, and I'll share some other tips but where you just kind of pause and you're still and you just say I need time, I need time to think and I definitely am going to come back around, you know, just so that they also know that you're not going to. You can't keep, you know, arguing about something that is not something that you're not getting anywhere with that conversation.
Renee Richel:Remember to be kind to your mate. Remember when you fell in love with them. Remember you love this person for a reason. So, just because of the certain circumstances that you're in right now, remember that this time too, the season shall pass, so don't just put all of your emotions and feelings into this one scenario and think of a time where you were very loving to your mate and to remember the reasons why you love your mate. Treat and love them how you would want to be treated and loved. Would you yell and scream at yourself? Would you tell yourself mean things? No, so remember to speak to them the way that you would speak with wisdom. Number two would be principles of fighting fair. This is huge. So keep Cod in the center of your relationship Always, always, not just you and your needs. So when you're starting to feel emotionally strong about something, or angry or bitter or harsh or whatever it is, remember God is the one who is controlling the emotions and outcome of where you're going to respond. So you wouldn't want God to speak mean to you and you wouldn't want to have these somebody else have awful feelings about you. So remember to always put God at the core, in the center of any thought or feeling or emotion you have, in the center of any thought or feeling or emotion you have.
Renee Richel:Pray together before discussing difficult issues or disagreements To invite the Holy Spirit into your conversation. It completely shifts the environment. Pray for, like I always, typically, even when I do like a conference or something like that, I always pray over the audience before I ever begin, because it just puts the environment and the people that are in front of you in a whole different mindset than when we're not starting off in prayer. Active listening Take the time to truly hear your partner and make sure that you hear their concerns without interrupting. We just did a podcast on this under emotional intimacy, so definitely check that out. If you have not listened to that podcast, don't play the blame game. I mean, how mature are we right if that's what we start to do? So remember to try and express your feelings without accusing or blaming your partner. No one wants to feel like they are being put in.
Renee Richel:Time out is the best way I like to explain it. So stop like scolding and take a pause. Spend more energy of reflecting and processing and thinking about your thoughts. This is a perfect example when I always use, like, the five-hour rule. This is an example where you tell somebody like I'm taking a pause, let's reconvene and come back to this maybe in five hours. It is incredible what happens in the first literally hour and then the second and the third hour because you're thinking about why you're right, what you did. That should have been da, da, da. And then the last several hours I always tell everybody now start thinking it through your mate so by the time you come back, nobody leaves thinking that they're not coming back. But they've had enough time, but not too much time, and don't call your friends and family. This is the time to actually just spend time with the Lord, praying for your mate to come back together in a much more stable mindset.
Renee Richel:Seek to understand, not just to win. Have the mindset of resolving the issue rather than proving who is right. Emotionally, maturity number one. Mastering this will change your life when you start thinking these things through. It's not about winning, it's honestly. The win is doing the opposite. So you get to a resolution that's a win-win across the board, so that emotional harmony and love surrounds your entire circle, opposed to driving each other apart.
Renee Richel:Strategies for success Couch talk. I cannot express that enough. I say that I feel like in every podcast. The 72-hour rule, the five-hour rule that I was just talking about Remember to write a love note to express your feelings is another great strategy or idea. Love note to express your feelings is another great strategy or idea where you know maybe it's a journal and you write in it once a month or every quarter or whenever you do, and, instead of being angry, write down what you feel and then you know, go back and maybe write a love note out of it of what you actually mean.
Renee Richel:The power of forgiveness is another huge subject to talk about when we talk about fighting fair in a relationship. So, with that, for people that sometimes struggle with forgiveness and others feel know your heavenly father will forgive you as well, but it is so important that you don't just forgive others. Your father, you know your father, the Lord, will forgive those that are offending others right. So, like in Matthew 6, 14 through 15, is a perfect example of that. Forgiveness doesn't mean ignoring the problem, but choosing to let go of the resent, sincerely apologize. The key word in this is sincerely, not just say I'm sorry. To say I'm sorry. There's nothing worse than somebody just saying that just to stop the conversation. How to offer like genuine, like an apology without accusing is huge. Remember that forgiving comes from the heart. The process of forgiving your partner and letting go of grudges is something that you have to truly do. When you apologize, you have to completely not only forgive but also forget, and I think that's something that people struggle with all the time, that they often just say, oh, I forgave them, but I'll never forget we haven't really forgiven them. So if that's you, I really want you to pray on that and think about how do I actually forget and let that season go because God's got this, not me so you can move on emotionally maturely and actually continuously grow the relationship instead of just giving up. Move forward together.
Renee Richel:Strategies for rebuilding trust and strengthening your bond after a conflict is really important. Seeking the Lord's guidance and reconciliation is huge. So use prayer as a tool for peace. Pray for wisdom, pray for patience, which I know is always the hardest thing to do. Believe it or not, you can do it. Be still in your prayer and love when dealing with conflict. I mean, if you can master that when it comes to prayer every day and pray for your future mate and your maybe mate you're with, it'll transform your relationship for sure and your future. Pray to see your mate the way God sees them. Don't just pray for them, but also seek wisdom and knowledge that the Lord reveals to you their heart and their feelings and emotions behind whatever it is that they're going through that you can understand. Pray both individually and as a couple to seek God's guidance in resolving your disagreement.
Renee Richel:Trust God's plan. God uses conflict to shape and grow us. How many times do we think about our life story and realize that in the darkest, hardest moments, when it felt like there was no hope and no one there and God was literally working in and through us to learn something the hard way so that he can shift the future and autocorrect us? I always say to get us back on track of what he has planned for us, which is always so much better than we ever imagined, always so much better than we ever imagine. Rely on God's grace and love to navigate through difficult times. Some of the suggestions I always make too. When you're trusting in God's plan, part of that is also making sure that you find a place where you both are not reminded of bad scenarios. So I always use the example, like when I have a lot going on. The river to me is always a calming place, or maybe it's the ocean to you, or maybe it's water, or maybe it's I don't even know. It could be an amusement park, I have no idea. Whatever it is that brings you happy, joyful memories, to go to those places, sit on a bench, hold each other's hand and just be in a safe place to have conversation.
Renee Richel:I want to say to wrap this up in closing is that it's important to handle conflict in a way that honors God and strengthens the relationship and doesn't tear it apart. That is not God's design for a relationship. Fight fair, forgive one another and seek God's guidance. Always With the Lord's help and provision, you can navigate conflict in a healthy and loving way. It's really important today, especially on this podcast, is to pray for everybody listening to this. I hope that you take down notes. I hope that these tools come as help and guidance, not only in your own relationship but in friends and family around you, because together, as a community, as a globe, as just the world together, the more that learn these simple but hard lessons to be better in life, love will just spread and you will feel it by everyone you meet if we practice some of these simple steps.
Renee Richel:So I'd like to bow our heads and just ask the Lord to come into each and every one of our audience that is listening to this, that he comes in and shifts the mindset of people's trajectory of what they think about conflict to be and not look at it as a bad thing, but look at it as something that they can grow together, they can be stronger, they can learn from, which is like constructive criticism that all of us that are human need that every once in a while. The people that love us only want to mold us into something more that sometimes we can't see, but when it comes from a trusted source and it comes in a loving environment, how much that can actually make the relationship grow to be that much stronger and deeper. So I pray, lord, that you come into everyone's heart that you possibly can, for them to feel your touch, for you to feel your strength, so that they can rise up to think about conflict in a way that you are auto-correcting them to seek you in everything that you've got this to, let go, let God and remember he can move mountains and he can do wonderful things in your relationships. While you're single and waiting, or when you're in a relationship coupled, wanting to. You know, maybe shift the way you're thinking of whatever conflict is happening and look at it in a positive way so that you can have a positive outcome.
Renee Richel:We are going to love and leave you and love you, bringing in any topics of conversations you want us to talk about. I love thinking and talking about all things relationships when it comes to finding people, the love of their life and continuously thriving in relationships. So thank you for listening. Please tune in on Thursdays to listen to our latest topics that we are sharing and tune into other ones that we've talked about in the past. Remember to subscribe and like this and share with others. Next week, we're going to talk about love and respect in the cornerstone of strong relationships. I'm going to love and leave you and hope you have a blessed week. I hope you have a blessed week. It's been another great talk on this episode of One True Talks by Renee Richel. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, god bless. Xoxo.