1 True Talks
1 True Talks
Handling In-Law Dynamics with Grace & Love
What if setting boundaries with your in-laws could be the key to a happier marriage? We unlock the secrets to establishing healthy boundaries with your in-laws, ensuring your relationship thrives. We'll dive into the wisdom of Ephesians 4:15 and Genesis 2:24 to understand the spiritual foundation of boundaries and how they can act as protective 'fences' for your love. Listen to practical advice on handling unsolicited advice and setting respectful time expectations, empowering you to communicate effectively and lovingly with your extended family.
As we close this enriching discussion, Renee reflects on the powerful stories and lessons shared, expressing deep gratitude for your engagement. We're already excited for our next conversation and encourage you to send in your thoughts and questions. Your input helps us cover topics that matter most to you. Tune in for insights that ensure your relationships are built on a solid foundation of love, respect, and clear communication. Lots of love and God bless. Xoxo.
Hi, I'm Renee Roch, the founder and president of One True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world. Hello, loves, welcome back.
Renee Richel:Happy Thursday if you're watching this live and when it comes out, I hope that you are having a fabulous week and I can't wait to dive right into this next topic, which is huge. So, if you have ever been in a relationship or you're thriving to be in a successful marriage someday, this is something you're going to have to navigate at some point in your life, or maybe you're already in. So listen up for those of you out there that are navigating the in-laws in relationships and setting healthy boundaries. So today we're going to dive into a topic that affects so many couples. Going to dive into a topic that affects so many couples navigating in-laws in relationships with healthy boundaries, whether you're newly married or have been together for years. Setting boundaries with in-laws can be one of the most loving thing you can do for your marriage. You can do for your marriage. Let's talk about why that is. How to establish these boundaries is really important, and how to maintain them with grace is even more important. In Ephesians 4.15, it reminds us to speak the truth in love. Remember that Speak the truth in love. If you hear nothing more, remember that phrase. This will be our foundation as we learn to set boundaries that are not just protective but also loving and respectful when it comes to having in-laws and just extended families.
Renee Richel:Number one understand the importance of boundaries. If you have never heard this word before or you haven't mastered how to have boundaries, it is something that you need to work on on all areas of your life. So boundaries are about creating space where love can thrive. Boundaries are like fences they protect what's valuable on the inside and they keep out what could be harmful. So, as we discussed last week in Genesis 2.24, that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. This version beautifully illustrates the concept of leaving and cleaving leaving behind our dependence of our parents and cleaving to our spouse, forming a new primary family unit. This is what marriage is all about. So when you choose to be married, remember these little tips.
Renee Richel:What do boundaries look like in the real world? That is such a great question we were asked is by addressing unsolicited advice from your in-laws or setting expectations for how much time you'll spend together. These are common areas where boundaries might be needed just settling or shuffling people out, stuffing people out. They are about creating a healthy, respectful dynamic where everyone knows their roles and places. How to establish healthy boundaries?
Renee Richel:Clear communication is huge, the first step to clear communication. Clear communication is huge, the first step to clear communication. You and your spouse need to be on the same page about what those boundaries look like. Talk openly about these expectations. This isn't always an easy conversation, but it is definitely, definitely necessary. And to remember to do this from the very beginning, before you're even married, is so critical when it comes to setting up the expectations and the long-term love and lasting result of a healthy marriage. So we have everybody, everybody from the beginning, even when they're single, and I can't tell you how many parents I have had them.
Renee Richel:Do this with their children is to take the love language and the personality assessment and sit down in like a campfire type situation I always say, where you're just open and honest and you share what it pulls out. That I love on the 16personalitiescom, which is like the Myers-Briggs it pulls out like your strengths and weaknesses, which all of us have weaknesses None of us are perfect and to sit down in an open environment, start with your mate, start with yourself first and be real that some of the areas that are room for opportunities, that are you know, are weaknesses. To be vulnerable and say I'm not really good at this area, I want to be better. I would love for you to encourage me to be better and somebody else shares the same. This is where great clear communication starts. We're all gifted in God's design uniquely differently, for God's purpose, and so by having these very open-ended and kind of spelled out topics to say I'm not so great at maybe this, because that's what it comes up with and clearly, yes, there's more than 16 personalities, but it's a really good tool to start with. And then, if this goes really well, I always say dive in to more personality assessments, right, or whatever it is, to really understand yourself so that you can be a better communicator, to have effective, efficient conversations and boundaries. And it is incredible when people admit some of their weaknesses and are vulnerable in an environment with like in-laws, family, friends, the love of your life, your husband, your wife, obviously and share that Somebody else is that much more naturally open to admitting the things that they're not great with, so that you can then say, all right, I know when to tread lightly, I know when to push, I know when to stop, because I understand each other.
Renee Richel:Communication on those boundaries with your in-laws, like I just said, is so, so critical. Approach this with love and respect. Being gentle but firm is really, really important. For example, if you or your spouse decide that Sunday evenings are your time to unwind together, communicate this clearly with your in-laws. Let them know that while you're cherishing spending time together with them, they also know that you need time to spend apart. So you know Sundays let's just say that, for example are reserved for your marriage. This isn't about including them. It's about excluding them. It is about prioritizing your time in your relationship with your spouse.
Renee Richel:Personally, myself, I love no phone-free Sundays, and what I mean by that. I am not. I don't feel guilty not responding to people. It's a time to just totally unplug, be with my family, be with my friend, be with the Lord. First and foremost, be grateful for everybody that I have. When I pick up my phone and I look at it at any time without feeling like I need to be responding to people. On a Monday, life goes on right and I've also been able to really set that time for my friends, for my family or whatever it is that I need emotionally to be able to have those boundaries or, like you know, date night Wednesday or date night Thursday or whatever it is that works for you, that people know to not interrupt or not expect or not be disappointed because we've set those boundaries.
Renee Richel:Number three would be maintaining boundaries with grace that we talked about, and this is a delicate balance that you have to learn the art of for sure. So setting boundaries is one thing, maintaining them is another. There will be times when your in-laws might push back. I'm sure it's happened to you. If you haven't experienced this, it probably will at some point, intentionally or unintentionally. This is where maintaining those boundaries with grace becomes essential. If pushback happens, address it calmly and refrain the boundaries you've set. Remind them sorry, affirm the boundaries that you have set. Remind them that this is important for a healthy marriage. Maybe they'll start doing it themselves, right, because if people are always around, their marriage might not be great. Right, like people that have healthy marriages will completely accept and understand this. This is important to stand firm without escalating the situation.
Renee Richel:Boundaries are meant to be considerate, but that doesn't mean that they can't be flexible when needed right. Things happen, like you can't always have just the same routine and the same day without things happening, or sometimes like you haven't seen along. A friend or somebody comes in and visits, right Like we understand those scenarios. Continuously reassess and adjust them as your relationship evolves so it works great for both of you. Keep a prayerful approach. Always Ask God for wisdom in handling difficult situations, for patience when like tension arises, or for grace to communicate effectively. The Holy Spirit can guide you in maintaining peace while you're protecting the wholeness of your marriage and relationship. Remember in Romans 12, 18, it says if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live a peace, live at peace with everyone. Like.
Renee Richel:This advice is not just for marriage. This is throughout that you are always thinking with a peaceful mind and loving others. This includes your in-laws, and even boundaries, when boundaries are even tested. So to wrap all of this up, let's remember the key points. Boundaries are about protection, not exclusion. Communication is key and maintaining boundaries require both consistency and grace. Again, consistency is a keyword and grace to remember to practice this and keep doing it. By setting healthy boundaries, you're not just protecting your marriage, you're creating a space where it can grow and thrive.
Renee Richel:I encourage you to take time to reflect on your relationship with your in-laws in any relationship that you have. And for the boundaries, there are boundaries that need to be set, or maybe perhaps adjusted, when it comes to the people you think about that are in your life. Right, If you're surrounding yourself around people that are tearing you down, are not lifting you up, that are not elevating you, that you're also elevating back, you've got to set those boundaries to be able to have a whole peaceful life. Remember it is never too late to start setting boundaries that honor God and strengthen your marriage. So I hope you have found this helpful and beneficial, and we love these chats.
Renee Richel:I love getting these topics. So please keep writing us in, letting us know the things that you want to talk about that I can get on a podcast and share what tools and tips have helped our clients over the years and years to grow a healthy and successful relationship with themselves, but also their mate. Next week, every Thursday, tune in for another topic. Next week we're going to talk about overcoming jealousy and insecurities in relationships, which this, of course, like all of our topics, is something that happens very frequently when a relationship is not in a loving, wholesome place. So tune in every Thursday for another topic to be discussed and to look into other podcasts that we've had from previous weeks. That might be something that is on your mind, that you can get answers for. That'll help you and continue to write in your success.
Renee Richel:I love hearing all the stories we're going to love and leave you and hope you have a blessed week. I can't wait for our next chat. It's been another great talk on this episode of one true talks by Renee Richel. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, god bless. Xoxo.