1 True Talks
1 True Talks
Unmasking Spiritual Gaslighting: Navigating Narcissistic Relationships with Faith and Love
What if the very faith meant to uplift you is being used to manipulate and control? We unravel the unsettling reality of narcissistic relationships disguised in spiritual language. You'll learn how to spot the red flags of "spiritual gaslighting," where narcissistic individuals misuse faith to dictate and dominate rather than nurture genuine spiritual growth. Together, we'll delve into practical tools like the "fruit test" to differentiate between authentic faith and manipulation, assessing actions by their outcomes—love, joy, and kindness versus pride and control. The conversation also highlights the critical need for healthy boundaries, recognizing manipulation tactics like the blame game, and preserving your spiritual well-being.
In our exploration of spiritual connections, we dive into the concept of soul ties, offering guidance on nurturing relationships that enrich your life. Whether you're questioning the dynamics of your current relationships or seeking ways to strengthen them, this episode provides the insights needed to decide when to refocus or encourage the bonds you have. With heartfelt discussions and practical advice, you're invited to share your thoughts and questions, ensuring our future chats on One True Talks are as engaging and supportive as possible. Your spiritual and relational journey matters, and together, we'll uncover how to build Christ-centered connections grounded in mutual responsibility and love.
Hi, I'm Renee Rochel, the founder and president of One True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around. Hello, loves, welcome back. This is a big topic we're going to talk about today and it's deep and it is emotional, and if you're somebody that's listening to this, my heart pours out to you. I'm also going to offer you help. Today we are going to talk about, empowered by faith, overcoming narcissism and embracing me, which is you. I want you to listen to this very closely if you are in a narcissistic relationship or have been in one and can share this with anybody that you know as great advice to overcome people that have impacted your life from narcissism. So let's begin. We're diving into the world of narcissistic relationships how to spot it signs early on and how to break free, while learning to trust God to lead our lives and relationships. Narcissism can really be hard to identify, especially when someone is using faith or spiritual language to manipulate you. But today we're going to unpack it together and I'm here to remind you that you don't have to walk with this path alone.
Renee Richel:Defining narcissism I think we've all heard the word narcissism thrown around a lot. In today's world it becomes kind of a buzzword. But let's break it down to truly what it means. Narcissism is a personality disorder where someone has an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. At the core, it really is about control, manipulation and self-condescending. Now, no matter what, the narcissism always has to be the center of attention, to be the center of attention. It's what we're talking about today how we can identify narcissism and break free from the narcissist and ultimately heal from the toxic relationship. Identifying narcissism in relationships have you ever been in a relationship where someone made you feel small, guilty or constantly questioning yourself?
Renee Richel:Narcissism are masters of making things look good on the outside while controlling and manipulating behind the scenes. Here's the tricky part they often disguise this behavior as spiritual devotions. You might hear things like God told me to tell you, or if you were really committed to your faith, you would do this. It's subtle, but this is called spiritual gaslighting. They're using faith as a tool for control rather than bringing you closer to God. It's easy to miss these red flags, especially if they're wrapped up in religious language, but if you feel like someone is always elevating themselves, making you dependent on their approval or twisting scripture to fit their agenda, that's a sign of narcissism.
Renee Richel:So how do we tell the difference between someone who's genuinely walking in faith and someone who's using faith as a mask for their narcissism? The answer is in the Bible. Jesus tells us to test the fruit of someone's life in Matthew 7, 16. By their fruits you will recognize them. That's where we start with. What I say all the time to recall is call it the fruit test. Ask yourself what kind of fruit is this person producing? Are they producing the fruit of spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control? Or do you sense pride, manipulation and a lack of empathy? These are signs that something's off. Something's off.
Renee Richel:Narcissists tend to use faith as a tool for their own agenda, rather than living out faith in humility and service to others. Look at how they treat people. Are they humble. Do they admit when they're wrong, or do they always have to be right? They're wrong or do they always have to be right? True faith isn't about being perfect. It's about being transformed by the love of Christ, and that transformation should be visible in how we treat others. A person rooted in genuine faith seeks to lift others up, not to control them. And I want to be clear. This is not about judging others. It is about being aware of who you surround yourself with and always setting healthy boundaries and standards for protection.
Renee Richel:The blame game, one of the biggest red flags of narcissism, is that they will never take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they'll blame you, making you feel like you are the one at fault. They might say something like well, if you were supportive, I wouldn't have acted the way that I did. This is a form of emotional manipulation that keeps you doubting yourself constantly, questioning if you're the problem. Let me tell you God never calls us to relationships where we're diminished or controlled. Relationships rooted in Christ involve Mutual responsibility, accountability and love. Healthy, christ-centered relationships are built on humility, not control. In Ephesians 4.2, paul reminds us to be completely vulnerable and gentle. Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Bearing with one another in love. That means taking responsibility for our action and allowing others to do the same. If someone is always shifting the blame game onto you and avoiding accountability, I would encourage you to take it to God in prayer and truly consider if this relationship is worth sacrificing your peace, protecting your heart.
Renee Richel:Whether you're in a dating, family, friendly or professional relationship, it is imperative to protect your heart when you're dealing with someone who might be a narcissist. Proverbs 4.23 says above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. This doesn't mean you shut yourself off from people, but it does mean you need to be wise about who you allow to speak into your life. If you're in a relationship whether it's romantic, a friendship or even with someone in a spiritual leadership role and you sense manipulation, control or that something's just not right, pray for discernment, ask God how to show you their heart and when he does reveal that to you, believe him. We've discussed this so many times on our podcast before and I cannot say it enough Set healthy boundaries with people. Narcissists don't like boundaries, but boundaries are essential for protecting your emotional and spiritual health. For example, don't be afraid to say no Healing from a narcissist.
Renee Richel:If you've been in a relationship with a narcissist, I want you to know that healing is possible. It may not be easy, but God can restore your heart and your confidence. One of the most important steps to healing is learning to trust God's lead, not someone else's control. Proverbs 3, 5 through 6 tells us to trust in the Lord with all your heart and lead, not for your own understanding, in all your ways subject to submit to him, and he will make your path straight. Such an important scripture to remember. When you let go of the need to control or be controlled, you make room for God to take the lead in your life. Maybe you've been holding onto a relationship because you're afraid or wonder what will happen if I let go, but let me tell you God's plan for your life are so much better and greater than what any person can offer you. He wants you to thrive, not just survive, in a relationship. Trust him to lead you out of an unhealthy pattern and into a relationship that honors him and brings you peace At the end of the day.
Renee Richel:It's important to remember that God gives us discernment because he loves us and wants us to be in a relationship that reflects his love and truth. If you're feeling confused or unsure about someone in your life, the first thing you should do is take it to God in prayer. Let the Holy Spirit guide you in recognizing the difference between real, humble love, faith and narcissism disguised as faith. If you're feeling stuck in a relationship with a narcissist, I want you to know that you don't have to stay there. Don't be afraid to walk away from toxic relationships and set boundaries. God has given you the power to set boundaries, to take responsibility for your own actions and to trust him to lead your life. You are worthy of love that reflects God's heart and that builds you up, not tears you down. I hope this has given you some insight and encouragement to protect your heart and walk in wisdom. You are a child of the Most High God and you are worthy, so remember to keep seeking His truth and walking in his love every single day.
Renee Richel:Next week we are going to talk about soul ties, understanding spiritual connections in relationships, so tune in every Thursday, write in, subscribe and share so that we talk about topics that you are most interested in. That I can advise with direction to refocus or continue to encourage the relationship you're in, to have healthy, loving relationships surrounding us every day. I'm going to love and leave you and hope you have a blessed day. I'm going to love and leave you and hope you have a blessed day. It's been another great talk on this episode of 1 True Talks by Renee Richel. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love, god bless. Xoxo.