1 True Talks
1 True Talks
From Silent Treatment to Stronger Marriages: Communication with Love
Arguments are inevitable in even the strongest relationships, but the way we handle conflict determines whether it drives us apart or brings us closer together. The question isn't whether we'll fight—it's whether we're fighting in ways that heal or hurt. When conflict arises, the difference between healthy and unhealthy arguments becomes crucial. A constructive disagreement focuses on solving problems rather than attacking your partner, prioritizes listening over speaking, and leaves both people feeling heard and respected. Meanwhile, destructive patterns involve blame, yelling, bringing up past mistakes, and treating conversations like competitions. As Proverbs 15:1 beautifully reminds us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Your tone can transform the entire conversation.
The silent treatment might feel like setting boundaries, but it's actually a harmful form of emotional withdrawal that creates distance rather than resolution. Instead of shutting down completely, try communicating your need for space: "I need a moment to gather my thoughts, but I want to talk about this." Two powerful tools can revolutionize your approach to conflict: the 5-hour rule (taking time to calm down, pray, and reflect before responding to something upsetting) and the 72-hour rule (addressing issues that still bother you after three days, while letting go of minor irritations). These practices help you choose your battles wisely and approach important conversations with clarity and compassion.
Ready to transform your arguments into opportunities for connection? Try implementing the 5-hour and 72-hour rules this week, start difficult conversations with prayer, and remember—God didn't call us to avoid conflict, but to handle it with wisdom and love. Share this episode with someone you care about, and join me next week as we explore faith over frustration and letting go with grace.
Hi, I'm Renee Richel, the founder and president of 1 True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week, I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world. Hello Loves, I hope you have had an incredible week.
Renee Richel:Welcome back to 1 True Talks where we have real conversations about love, relationships and keeping love at the center. Today we're going to talk about healthy fights, stronger marriage, breaking unhealthy habits and communication with love. We're going to talk about something that every couple deals with how to argue in a way that's actually healthy. Let's be real, fights happen. Even in the best relationships. There will be disagreements. The question is are we fighting in a way that brings us closer or are we fighting in a way that pushes us apart? So today we're covering the difference between a healthy fight and an unhealthy one, why the silence treatment is toxic and how the 5-hour rule and 72-hour rule can help us break bad communication habits Because, let's face it, god didn't call us to avoid conflict, but he did call us to handle it with wisdom and love. So grab your Bible, your journal and a beverage of choice and let's get into it.
Renee Richel:So what does a healthy fight actually look like? A healthy argument focuses on solving a problem, not attacking the person. Involves listening more than talking, leaves both people feeling heard and respected. An unhealthy argument turns into a petty blame game, involves yelling, shutting down and bringing up the past and ultimately feels like a complication instead of a conversation. One of the best verses to keep in mind when you're in the middle of a disagreement is Proverbs 15:1. That reminds us. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. That means your tone matters. The way you say something can make it all the difference. Are you speaking with love or are you speaking to win?
Renee Richel:Okay, let's talk about the silent treatment. If you've ever been on the receiving end of it, you know how painful it feels. And if you've ever been the one doing it, let's be honest. You were probably trying to prove a point right. Here's the problem. The silent treatment isn't a way to set boundaries, it's a way to shut someone out. It's not solving anything. It's creating more distance.
Renee Richel:Now, there's nothing wrong with taking a moment to calm down before responding In fact, that's healthy. But shutting down completely, that's not the move. The Bible tells us in James 1:19,. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. So instead of shutting down, let's try this Sit. I need a moment to gather my thoughts, but I want to talk about this. So set a time to come back to the conversation, even if it's later in the day. Pray about your response before you react.
Renee Richel:Now here's a tool that can change the way you communicate the 5-hour rule and 72-hour rule. The five-hour rule if you're upset, don't react immediately. Take a pause, calm down, pray about it and reflect. After five hours, I want you to come back to your mate and try to have a discussion about one topic at a time. This is when a lot of our couples take a pause to be able to communicate truly deep down inside what they're feeling. If, in five hours, you need more time, at least you both know you're coming back together because you love each other and you've thought about it from both perspectives. The 72-hour rule if something is bothering you more than three days, it probably needs to be addressed, but if, after 72 hours, you realize it's not that big of a deal, let it go.
Renee Richel:So the 72-hour rule is really designed to help us to reflect, to process and respond in a matter of something that we feel needs to be discussed and isn't that important in the moment. This helps you avoid unnecessary fights while also making sure you don't bottle things up. It's about choosing your battles wisely, and let's not forget. It's about choosing your battles wisely and let's not forget in Proverbs 29: 11, a fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man holds it back. Translation not every problem needs a reaction, but the real ones deserve a conversation. So, in conclusion, at the end of the day, conflict is normal, but the way we handle it, that is what makes or breaks a relationship. Instead of silent treatment, choose communication Instead of reacting. Take time to reflect. Instead of fighting to be right, fight to understand. To be right, fight to understand.
Renee Richel:This week, I challenge you to use the 5-hour rule and the 72-hour rule in the next time something upsets you and, most importantly, invite God into the conversations. Start it off with prayer. Ask God to speak through the two of you and he will. That's it for today, for 1 True Talks. If this episode speaks to you, share it with your friends or your partner, and always keep God in the center and I promise you love will follow. Next week we're gonna talk about faith over frustration, letting go with grace. I hope you have a fabulous week and can't wait for our next chat. God bless. It's been another great talk on this episode of 1 True Talks by Renee Richel. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of Love, God Bless. XOXO.