1 True Talks
1 True Talks
Break The Pattern
New year energy can inspire change or quietly recycle the same old dating patterns. We dive into the subtle habits that keep love stuck and share how small, honest shifts open the door to healthier connection. From “attraction on autopilot” to the urge to decide everything by date one, we unpack why familiarity feels safe, how pressure clouds wisdom, and the simple questions that restore clarity in the early stages of getting to know someone. If dating has felt like different faces with the same emotional script, this conversation offers a kinder, clearer path forward.
Together we contrast scarcity thinking with a posture of peace. Instead of racing a clock, we explore how grounded trust sharpens discernment, protects standards, and makes room for real compatibility to show up over time. We also get practical about speaking truth in love, sharing intentions, setting boundaries, and using calm, direct language that creates safety rather than tension. You’ll hear why waiting to feel perfectly ready can be a polished form of fear, and how growth often happens inside relationship through repair, reflection, and mutual care.
Expect encouragement, not pressure. You don’t need a brand new version of yourself to date well this year, just the most aware version. If you’re ready to replace urgency with intention and confusion with clarity, you’ll leave with grounded steps to try on your next coffee date or message exchange. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs hope for their love life, and leave a quick review so more people can find these tools. What small shift are you making this week?
Hi, I'm Renee Richel, the founder and president of 1 True Match. I'm here to help you find and cultivate the love of your life. For over a decade, I've dedicated my life to the importance, purpose, and dynamic of human relationships. My team and I are disciplined by faith, love, and integrity to help our clients find the quality relationship they've always dreamt of. Each week I will be sharing the tools and tips I've learned that have rooted my success as a matchmaker with other leaders around the world. Hello loves. Welcome back. I am so excited to be having this conversation, sitting here with you today, talking about dating patterns I see repeat every year. There is something really special about January. It carries hope, fresh intention, new prayers, and as a matchmaker, this is one of my most meaningful time of year for me because of so many people genuinely want this year to be different in their dating lives. And yet, after more than almost two decades of working with singles, I've learned something important. Most people don't repeat dating patterns because they're careless. They repeat them because patterns are subtle and often invisible until someone lovingly points them out. So today, I want to talk about a few dating patterns I see repeat every single year. Not to discourage you, but to empower you. Because once a pattern is seen, it can be shifted. And small shifts truly create big change. This conversation is about clarity, peace, moving forward with intention, not pressure. Let's talk about attraction on autopilot. One of the most common things I hear is I don't know why I keep choosing the same type. Different person, different story, same emotional dynamic. Here's what I've learned as a matchmaker: attraction is rarely random. It's often familiar. And familiarity doesn't always mean healthy, it's just something that you recognize. We often draw to what we know, even if what we know hasn't served us well in the past. Scripture reminds us in Proverbs 423, guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Guarding your heart does not mean shutting down. It means paying attention. Breaking the pattern starts with curiosity, not judgment. Does this connection bring peace or confusion? Do I feel guarded or emotionally activated? Is this attraction aligned with the life I'm praying for? Awareness alone can interrupt autopilot. Another pattern I see constantly, especially at the beginning of the year, is the need to decide the outcome too early. People want to know immediately, is this my person? Is this worth pursuing? Or am I just wasting time? While clarity is important, pressure is not. Discernment unfolds in layers. Even in scripture, God often reveals things step by step to us. In Psalms 119:105, it says, Your word is the lamp to my feet and the light to my path. The lamp lights the next step, not the entire journey. Healthy dating allows space to observe consistency, character, and effort over time. Breaking this pattern looks like allowing connection to develop without demanding certainty too soon. Let's talk about dating from scarcity instead of peace. This one shows up quietly but powerfully, especially in January. Scarcity sounds like what if this is my last chance? Everyone else is moving forward, getting married and starting families. I can't afford to mess this up. However, scarcity creates pressure, and pressure clouds wisdom. Scripture reminds us in Isaiah 60:22 when the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen. God's timing is intentional and never rushed. Dating from peace doesn't mean moving slowly out of fear. It means moving forward with trust instead of urgency. A gentle question to ask yourself: Am I moving forward because I feel grounded or because I feel afraid of missing out? Remember, peace always sharpens discernment. Let's talk about avoiding honest conversations. How many of us do that sometimes? We're all guilty of it. Many people avoid clarity because they don't want to feel uncomfortable or risk disappointment. So they wait, they assume, they hope. I've gotta be honest. Clarity early on is one of the kindest things you can offer both of each other to wanting to yourselves to build upon confusion and outcome. Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to speak the truth in love. Keyword is in love. Healthy communication doesn't need to be intense or confrontational, it just means to be simple and honest. Breaking this pattern means being willing to express your intentions, value, and heart. The right person will feel safer and more secure in that clarity, not scared by it. Let's also talk about waiting to feel ready enough. This one surprises many people. So often I hear, I just need to work on myself a little more before I date. Growth is beautiful, healing matters. However, here's what over almost two decades of matchmaking has taught me. Growth doesn't only happen before dating, it happens through more experience of dating. You can learn so much more about yourself. Relationships refine us, they revive us, they invite us into deeper maturity. In Ecclesiastes 4 9, it reminds us that we're not meant to live alone. God often uses connection as part of his refining process. Breaking this pattern looks like allowing yourself to grow while moving forward, not waiting for perfection. So, in conclusion, if there's one thing I want you to take into this new year, this is it. This year doesn't mean a brand new version of you. It just needs the most aware version of you. You are not behind. You are not late, and nothing about your journey has been wasted. Small shifts of awareness, honesty, or peace create powerful change. And when you date with intention instead of pressure, clarity instead of fear, patterns begin to break naturally. I truly believe this can be a year of healthy connection, deeper peace, and wiser choices. And I'm honored to walk alongside this journey with you. Join us next week as we talk about why peace is the biggest green flag in dating. I hope you have enjoyed this chat. I cannot wait till our next talk. And I've been enjoying hearing from our audience, writing in of topics you want us to discuss, guests you want me to bring on, and just following the Lord's purpose in your heart and your desire and everything that you do to make wise choices in this new year in love and life. Have a blessed week, and I can't wait for our next talk soon. It's been another great talk on this episode of 1 True Talks by Renee Richel. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of Love. God bless. XOXO.