5 Ways to Let Yourself Fall In Love

Love can start to feel like a checklist: secure the relationship, lock in the timeline, decode every text, avoid every mistake. But what if the thing you’re craving isn’t more strategy, it’s permission to actually fall in love again? We’re talking about five ways to let yourself fall in love with open hands, rooted faith, and a calmer nervous system, especially if modern dating has trained you to guard, brace, and overthink.

We begin with a hard truth I see all the time: control can disguise itself as “wisdom”. Becoming poor in spirit means I stop trying to orchestrate my love story behind the scenes and invite God into the real-time mess, not just the polished prayers. Then we go to the part that doesn’t sound romantic but changes everything: mourning. If my heart is still carrying what broke it, I can’t fully receive something new. Healing creates space for softness, trust, and healthy intimacy.

From there, we unpack meekness as strength under surrender, the kind that refuses to chase, prove, or cling to someone who isn’t choosing me. Finally, we sit with a grounding question for Christian dating and faith-based relationships: is my God bigger than my fear? When anxiety hits, who do I run to first, and what is that doing to my choices? You’ll hear a simple prayer that helps you respond with peace instead of panic, and a closing reminder to be expectant without striving.

Transcript

Why Falling In Love Gets Missed

Renee Richel 0:04

Hello, loves. Welcome back. Today we are going to talk about five ways to let yourself fall in love. And I am excited for today's conversation because I think this is something we don't talk enough about, especially in dating today. You know, our love coaches and just we often hear from our clients is that people are unintentionally missing the experience of falling in love because they're so focused on just having somebody, on the outcome, on the security, on finally saying I am with somebody. And while companionship is beautiful, I've got, to be honest, one of the greatest joys in life is to truly love and be loved. We talk so much about how to find love, how to spot red flags, how to choose the right person. But we don't talk enough about what it actually looks like to let yourself fall in love, not force it, not control it, not overthink it, just allow it. And I think for a lot of us, the reason love hasn't felt the way we hoped is not because we haven't met the right person, however, because we've been trying to manage something that was never ours to control in the first place. And I want to anchor today's conversation in something really beautiful from the beginning of the sermon on the mount, where Jesus says, Blessed are the poor in spirit, blessed are those who mourn, blessed are the meek. And I remember reading that and thinking, what does that have to do with love? But the more I walked with clients, and honestly, in my own life too, I realized it has everything to do with love.

Poor In Spirit Over Control

Renee Richel 2:16

So the first way to truly let yourself fall in love is to become poor in spirit. And what that means is you stop trying to do it all on your own. You stop gripping so tightly to outcomes, to timelines, to this is how it has to go. Because if you're being real, a lot of us say we trust God with our love story, but we're still trying to manage it behind the scenes. We're analyzing every text, we're predicting every outcome, we're guarding ourselves so tightly that nothing can actually grow, blossom, and flourish. And that's not surrender, that's control disguised as wisdom. Being poor in spirit is saying, God, I actually need you here now in the moment. Not just in theory, but in the middle of the mess. Love was never meant to be something we orchestrate perfectly. And often when we try to do it all on our own, we don't just miss the piece, we also miss the experience.

Mourning To Make Room

Renee Richel 3:30

The second way is to allow yourself to mourn. And I know this does not sound romantic, but it's so, so important because so many of us try to fall in love without ever fully healing from what has hurt us before. So instead of being open, we're guarded. Instead of being soft, we're brass. Instead of being present, we're preparing for what could go wrong. And I just want to gently but honestly say this you can't fully receive something new when your heart is still carrying what broke it. And sometimes this looks like going to the Lord and saying, God, break my heart for what breaks yours. Don't let me become numb. Don't let me harden in places. You're trying to soften because emotions they demand to be felt. So, yes, feel what you need to feel, process it, bring it to him and at the foot of the cross, but don't stay there. Let him grow you, let him uh prune you, let him heal you. Because mourning isn't weakness, it's not going backwards, it's what creates the space for something real, something healthy, something God-oriented to come in.

Meekness As Strength Under Surrender

Renee Richel 5:09

The third way is to choose meekness. And meekness is so beautiful when you really understand it. It's not weakness, it's not uh passivity, it's strength under surrender. It's choosing not to force something, not to chase, not to prove your worth. It's getting grounded enough in who you are that you don't need to grasp for love. And I see this so often, people trying to hold on to something that isn't fully choosing them because they're afraid to let go. But meekness says I trust what's meant for me will come to me in a way that doesn't require me to lose myself. And what meekness actually does, it creates a safe place to land for you and for the other person. And this is something we talk about a lot inside of One True Match. Everything like the 72-hour role, uh, taking time to process instead of reacting immediately, giving space instead of escalating, that's meekness and action. It's choosing peace over pressure, it's choosing steadiness over urgency. And we serve a gentle God. So when we operate from that same place of gentleness, it doesn't just strengthen your romantic relationship, it strengthens all of your relationships around you because people feel safe with you and you feel safe within

Is God Bigger Than Fear

Renee Richel 7:02

yourself. The fourth way is a question. And this is the question I want you to really sit with. Is your God bigger than your fear? Because if we're honest, a lot of our control, a lot of our hesitation, a lot of our overthinking, so much is what keeps us from fully stepping in to love is fear. Fear of being alone, fear of getting hurt again, fear of choosing wrong. But here's the truth: God has already gone before you.

Who You Run To First

Renee Richel 8:21

Ask yourself, who do I run to first? When something feels uncertain, when emotions come up, when you feel anxious, where do you go? Do you run to the person? Do you run to your phone? Do you run to your friends? Do you go to God first? Because anything we constantly run to before we run to Him can quickly become an ideal. And I say that with so much love because I've seen it and I felt it too. And here's something so grounding about praying this simple prayer. God, before I react, before I spiral, before I try to fix this, I'm coming to you. And from that place, you respond differently, you choose differently, you love differently, you respond instead of react. You move with peace instead of panic. And you stay rooted instead of being pulled in every direction. And this is why I'm so passionate about what we teach inside the Love Starts with You course. Because before love is ever about another person, it's about strengthening and solidifying your relationship with yourself and with God. That's where everything shifts.

Expectant Love Without Striving

Renee Richel 10:03

So, in conclusion, we've all heard the phrase, love finds you when you least expect it. And I don't believe that. I do think we're meant to be expectant, especially when it comes from the Lord. But I also believe we're not meant to strive for it or control it or force it. Because we serve the Prince of Peace. And when something is aligned, it carries that peace with it. God has already gone before you. So enjoy it. Enjoy falling in love because truly it's one of the most beautiful experiences in life.

Share It And Send Questions

Renee Richel 11:34

If this spoke to you, I would love for you to share it with someone who might need this reminder today. I'm praying for you. I'm cheering you on, and I'm believing in something really beautiful in your life. I hope you have a blessed and fabulous week in prayer and time with God in this reflection. It's been another great talk on this episode of 1 True Talks by Renee Richel. I look forward to our next chat. Please write in your questions and comments so I can be sure to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss in our next upcoming episode. Lots of love. God bless. XOXO.